Saturday, April 5, 2008

When I'm King of The Universe.... a game The Tribe sometimes play, adults included.
It's where you claim to be All Ruling Being, Universal Overlord, King/Queen Of Everything You Can Eyeball - you get the picture - and start listing the ways you'd change and run the state/country/world better than it has been up to date.
You've probably played something similar after reading about yet another politician-fueled stuff uprazz

IE - When I am All Conquering Evil Queen Biatch of Australia...

1) The railway network will be extended into every rural and housing development area, and it will be completely interconnected both in this state and every other state, and it will be user friendly, and It.Will.Run.On.Time.

2) Politicians will be on performance-proven salary packages and should they fail to lift their finger within the first 6 months they will be removed and they will NOT receive a tax-payer funded pension.

3) Hospitals will have adequate funding and they will remain in the communities hands and they will stay open in small country towns and surgeons,specialists and GPs will have to work 6 monthly rotations in rural areas.

4) Banks will retain a branch in every small town or their board of management and CEO will pay a massive, on-going fine out of their own pockets into local hospital coffers until they reopen the branch.

5) Politicians will not assemble committees to "look into things". Politicians were voted in, not committees and it's the politicians who will do the research, who will make the decisions and who will cop the public flack (10 days in the stocks with free rotten vegies for anyone to throw at them, plus a hefty fine from their own pockets to go into the local school coffers) should they make a balls up. This will ensure said-politicians do the job right the first time. Slow learners will be replaced - see rule 2.

Now feel free to add the laws that you will enforce when you are King/ Queen of the Universesmile


  1. When I'm King of the Universe? I'm having difficulty here understanding...

  2. I think you have covered a lot of great things I agree with too.

    I think all Doctors & specialists who work (stay) in country areas should be given tax incentives... those who won't or can't work a rotation should pay a levy.

    Nurses and Teachers too (though I know you have a sad experience with Feral regarding schools).

  3. Beer will be free for me and my mates.
    Mortgage interest will be zero.
    Banks will be forced to donate to the poor.
    References to footy of any kind will be banned.
    Eddie McGuire will be retired ungracefully.
    The Queen will politely be relieved of her Antipodean duties.
    Duopoly capitalism, so loved by Aussie companies, will be banned.
    Andrew Bolt, Tim Blair and all the othe right wing media hacks will be forced to live in Harare and write about how to
    Every house will have a rainwater tank, solar power and lots of green sustainable stuff.
    Rain will flow in a reliable pattern from 12 midnight to 6am every day.
    Former Howard Government Ministers will be deported.
    Hummers will be banned and six cylinder cars phased out very quickly.
    Reality Television will be outlawed.
    Hospitals will be required to serve good food.
    The English Cricket Team will be invited over annually to be walloped.
    The Australian Prime Minister will be forced to learn to salute correctly.
    I think that might be enough to get me started. So many great things to do.

  4. Yes, your Majesty Brian :P

    Good point Trish - where would you pay the doctor's levy to , the local hosp ?
    Some schools are great but they're all struggling with lack of funds.LOL I'm not that biased against schools -how about more rural uni campuses? ;)

    I dub thee Overlord Colin!
    I'm in awe at your ability to make it rain like clockwork :P
    Now where do we go to vote you in ? :P

  5. RE 3/ There would not be a doctor in Australia not on the public purse. Control of them needs to be taken, so I really like the idea of making them work in the country.

    Yours are good, and Colin's also very good.

  6. When I'm Queen Biatch:
    television commercials will be banned;
    also radio commercials;
    especially those ones during the cricket when the commentators have to launch into what's so good about the next show coming up on this station. Let them do what they're good at is my opinion, and let me watch the cricket in peace;
    also, I might stop taxing the poor (although of course I'm Queen Biatch in this story and I'm rich so I probably don't care so much about that one).