Monday, May 12, 2008

Trivial History May 12

Goooood morning all, hopefully you survived the burnt toast, cold and runny eggs and baked beans straight from the tin for your Mother's Day brekkie in bed yesterday. If not, a good dose of castor oil will do the trick....and cure your constipation for this week!

Tis International Nurses Day, so say thanks to the next nurse who looks after you...coz they've got the Power of The Enema just waiting to be used!!!

You know you're a nurse if...you'd like to meet the inventor of the call bell in a dark alley one night.

1792 Things were crook with the flour ration being reduced again....bet they needed something more than castor oil.

You know you're a nurse if...you believe every patient needs TLC - Thorazine, Lorazepam and Chlorhydrate.

1810 Bligh sailed off into the sunset for Old Blighty, with witnesses for the court martial of George Johnston who dared deprive the rum-soaked colony of Bligh's leadership....

Nursing Myth # 17 -You became a nurse just for the sensible shoes, sexy white uniform and the opportunity to expose yourself to rare, exotic and deadly diseases.

1812 Edward Lear, he who gave us such wonderfully fantastic nonsense poetry like The Owl and The Pussy Cat, was found in the turnip patch. Read more about him and his funny poetry HERE.

You know you're a nurse if...you believe not every patient is annoying - some are unconscious.

1820 That sheila with a lamp, Flo Nightingale, who invented the hand bell for all patients (and which gives every nurse tinnitus - ringing in the ears) was pupped.

You're a nurse when you realise you use more 4 letter words now than before you began nursing.

1835 John Batman sailed, not off into the sunset, but to Port Phillip to obtain some bush blocks for the Port Phillip Association.

"Florence Nightingale" is an anagram of "Angel of The Reclining"....coz "I've got a rubber glove and I'm not afraid to use it" just won't fit.

1856 The 8 hour day was recognised and a large knees up procession marched through Melbourne to Cremorne Gardens (the fun park that had so many landmark events happen there that it's been completely forgotten about).

You're a nurse when you can intubate your friends as a party trick.

1857 Proving what a truly multicultural lot they were, European miners drove the Chinese miners off the Ararat goldfield.

You're a nurse when blood loss no longer excites you...unless it's your own.

1880 Finally we were able to exchange a little gossip when the Melbourne Telephone Exchange Company opened the very first telephone exchange in Collins St, Melbourne.

You're a nurse when you get NFR tattooed on your chest.

1930 Unemployed were being evicted in Melbourne with all their belongings being sold to cover rent arrears.

You're a nurse when eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly normal.

1997 Susie Maroney became the first human, ever, to swim the Florida Straits from Cuba to United States....coz the fishies have been doing it for awhile now...

You know you're a nurse when you realise your sense of humour is getting more warped each year.

8 comments:

baby~amore' said...

OMG - they are freaking hilarious - I was a nurse and I loved it that kids didn't buzz LOL only their annoying parents !!

I would never eat popcorn or anything out of bedpan --ewww

Brian Hughes said...

"Edward Lear, he who gave us such wonderfully fantastic nonsense poetry..."

There once was a fellow called Lear,
Whose limericks were dreadful, I fear,
The lines were repeated,
Not funny, just repeated,
That repeating old fellow called Lear.

Kelley said...

You're a nurse when you get NFR tattooed on your chest.

Obviously I ain't no nurse..

But I did have a naughty nurse uniform.

Andrew said...

Gotta love your nurse on nurse day. I hear of nice nurses and not nice nurses. I expect the difference is some nurses have a higher threshold for stupid people and so get the accolade of nice nurse.

Sueblimely said...

I loved your reference to The Power of the Enema and used to enjoy writing limericks so thought I would coin one for this occasion.

There was a young nurse from Lakemba,
With a patient who could not hear.
The doctor said don’t worry dear
But next time do remember
The suppository goes in the rear.

I said I used to enjoy writing them, not that I was good at them :-)

leechbabe said...

I remember once looking at the disposable pap smear stuff and thinking 'gee they'd make great serving tongs' (unused of course).

Not a nurse but worked medical reception for 5 years. Not sure who was more annoying the doctors or the patients. Nurses on the other hand - they rock.

Widdle Shamrock said...

lol, funny !!!!

Had a great Mother's Day with no runny eggs.

Jayne said...

I've often pictured those patients strung up to the ceiling by their call bell :P

You were another of his creations too, Brian ?

Why am I not surprised Kelley? :P

LOL Andrew.

LMAO Sue.

I shall never look at salad tongs in quite the same way, Marita LOL.

Good to hear your eggs were hard boiled, Nikki :P

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