Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Trivial History June 4

Another gloomy, foggy, dank , overcast day for all Melbournians... we really do need some decent politicians to brighten up the joint!

Today is Old Maids Day for all the delightful wenches who have managed to escape the clutches of matrimonylol

1629 The Dutch ship The Batavia got into a spot of bother when it hit an island off the Westralia coast and did what boats usually do in that situation - she sank.

1789 Guv Phillip gave a little whoopee shout when his first Government House was finally finished to lock up stage, though he obviously had to get the convict women in to run up a few curtains, polish the floor, decide on the shade of lining boards for the reception rooms and1,000 other important details that men's brains have a meltdown overrazz

A Scottish settler in South Oz, Charles Campbell, claimed he was the fastest and strongest man to have emigrated from England.
To prove his statement he raced against a male challenger, whilst carrying a pony across his shoulders, and won!

1789 Supposedly for King George III's birthday celebrations but probably as a double delight for Guv Phillip the first theatrical performance was put on by the convicts; titled The Recruiting Officer it was a comedy that had the shackled ones rolling in the aisles....along with their iron balls.

1799 A spot of nasty weather was labelled as violent and sent to stand in the corner that was Sydney and in it's boredom it got up to some mischief and caused a lot of damage.

Great Aunt Hepzibah's Handy Hints-
When drying a hand-knitted jumper or other very fragile garment, lay it flat on top of a clean towel and roll up. Leave in a warm room for several hours/overnight; the towel will have absorbed the moisture and the garment hasn't been subjected to any damaging conditions.

1843 For want of a pretty penny, the Sudney Banking Company went belly up.

1857 Wonderful writer Barbara Baynton was hatched. Do yourself a favour and go read some of her work might even get sum kul-cha!

Oz Slanguage-
On the bugle = something stinks.

1911 Rev Dr Sir Alan Walker was found in the cabbage patch.
Never heard of him?
He has saved countless lives by his simple creation of Lifeline.

1924 Finally they were all hearing voices in Perth when radio station 6WF started broadcasting.

1985 Melbourne claimed Grand Old Dame status (as opposed to Dirty Aged Tramp she'd been until the day before) when she turned 150.

Oz Etty Kit-
When told it's your shout, do not start bellowing at the top of your lungs; simply pay for the next round of drinks.
After a night out with the boys the missus will do enough bellowing for the pair of you.


  1. I don't know about that after all the Member for La Trobe certainly livened up Parliament the other night.

  2. Genetically modified orgasms available from Mr Wood...via the ever so subtle slip of a tongue :P