Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Trivial History July 29

Yes, yes, I'm still breathing; I haven't busted my puffer valve although I did check myself when Googling the words "brain dead", "nincompoop" and "village idiot" last night as I was sure it would point in one direction...
Ahhh search engines, they're a tool of EVIL I tell you!
And she is simply a tool.
In happier news on sick bitches, my dog Tara is romping about with gay abandon in the backyard.

Nursing Story # Que ?
At one country hospital there were 2 not-quite-retired nuns, who were nurses, who did the odd casual shift. They were prim and proper, spoke oh so correctly, shoulders straight, shoes shined; in short very much old school.
The first shift I worked with one of them I watched my P's and Q's but as the day wore on it became obvious that this nun was very down to earth and we shared many giggles with double entendres flying thick and fast.
A few weeks later I had the pleasure of working with both of them and they saved the staff with their humour and old style nursing.
A patient was brought in by the police - drunk passenger in a car driven by an inebriated driver who'd had a minor car accident - and we had to keep attending the bloke as he was loud, rambunctious and *ahem* getting excited despite some small lacerations. His "excitement" and his methods of relieving it were irritating his injuries and no matter what we said or did, he got worse and worse.
At our wits' end we consulted with the nuns; they marched off to the kitchen where they grabbed as much ice as they could, strode into the patient's room, pulled his Y fronts out, piled in the ice, pulled the underwear back up and tucked him into the bedclothes tightly with his arms outside.
Then they stood in front of him and reminded him that they knew who he was, knew his family and that if he didn't smarten himself up they weren't above gossiping with his mother when she attended Mass the next Sunday.
He was a model patient after that.
  
1829 Patron saint of shoemakers, St Crispin, was honoured by the shoemakers of Newcastle, England, with a procession through the town that included much merriment, mirth and drinking.
Of course there was drinking involved, no decent load of old cobblers parading through the town can take place without drink.


Six Degrees of Separation of Skippy.
Skippy - Shirley Temple.
Steve Harrison appeared in 5 episodes of The Adventures of Skippy and later appeared in the TV series Water Rats.
Colin Friels was one of the leading actors in Water Rats and he later appeared in the telemovie bio of Shirley Temple.

1836 The Squatting Act was passed - no, this wasn't a bizarre ritual performed in the Thunderbox each morning - where the Govt licenced those wishing to depasture the land for the grand sum of £10 per year.
These days squatters get short shrift in the courts.

Place Name Origin-
Alligator River in the Northern Territory was thus titled in May 1818 coz of the myopic Captain Phillip King who was too much of a sooky la la big girls' blouse to get close enough to tell the difference between alligators and crocodiles.

1948 That brilliantly witty satirist, writer and comedian who we adopted from over the Ditch in NZ, John Clarke,was found in the cabbage patch.

Oz Slanguage-
Barcoo rot = a festering skin disease 
Not to be confused with 
Barcoo spew = an illness which is accompanied by plenty of chunders aka spew
Not to mixed up with
Barcoo Buster = westerly wind in the Qld outback
Which basically means if you fart or chuck up your nether regions will rot and drop off !

Make sure you have a gander at the photo of the recently restored 1840's blue stone house at Craigieburn HERE.

10 comments:

Anja said...

I'm loving your nursing stories. Absolutely hysterical.

Tool, you say? Borderline tool, maybe?

Widdle Shamrock said...

Me too.

Loving the nursing stories. And after speaking to you, I can just imagine you telling it.

Brian Hughes said...

"Patron saint of shoemakers, St Crispin, was honoured by the shoemakers of Newcastle..."

Who, after a quick bevy, buggered off to Agincourt for bit of a barney, as they always do on St Crispin's day. (Er...that's a Henry V reference...just ignore it if you can't stand Shakespeare.)

jeanie said...

Happy birthday to John Clarke - I first heard him through my mother's incessant playing of Fred Dagg and then a school program called "The Magic Bag" that we all trooped to the library to watch weekly!

Jayne said...

Thanks Anja :)
Tis a useless tool that any good tradesman would turf from his toolbox ;)

LOL Ta, WS :)

Forsooth, Lord Brian, thy tale of bravery tis indeed a matter for the good Bard :P

He's a classic, Jeanie, never fails to hit the mark with his humour :)

Bettina said...

lmfao!!

There is no one quite like a nun for straightening people out in a hurry ;) rofl!

leechbabe said...

the house at Craigiburn is lovely. Pity it is surrounded by new McMansions but at least it is still there reminding us of the past.

Jayne said...

Exactly, Bettina lol!

It is lovely, hey Marita :)

R.H. said...

I think I've taught you to swear.

Oh. How awful

Jayne said...

LMFAO Robert!
I've been making wharfies blush for years, dear ;)

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