Thursday, September 11, 2008

Trivial History September 11

Exciting news (for those of us in the neighbourhood who have the choice of either staring at the creepy neighbour over the back fence or the Moon when venturing outside for a ciggie)- the ringtail possum mafia moll has invited her family to move in.
The 2 clomping loudly about the trees last night could get jobs as male wharfies (or club bouncers) - no twinkle toes in that dance troupe! - as we half expected the whole tree to come crashing down with their heavy footed stomping.
Billy Elliot producers and Red Symons have no need to fear any competition from our garden.

1869 Big news hit the news stands when the Melbourne Herald launched the brand new and ever favoured rural The Weekly Times newspaper.


Grandma Mehitabel's Menu-
Use up left-over vegies by making the Tribe a healthy vegetarian pie for the following night.
Called Woolton Pie, after the Minister for Food in UK during WW2, this pie is simply a pie dish filled with cooked vegies, topped with oatmeal boiled with a little stock, then topped with mashed spud and grated cheese.

1889 A cave with Maori artefacts was uncovered and opened for the first time in 100's of years at Moncks Spur, NZ.

Oz Slanguage-
Squatter's daughter = (rhyming slang) water.

1928 30,000 Kiwis turned out to greet the arrival of the first Trans-Tasman flight of pilots Charles Ulm and Charles Kingsford-Smith at Wigram.

Oddspot-
The first doctor in Mansfield,Victoria, Sam Reynolds, needed to perform operations and did this by using a borrowed a poultry knife from the local hotel and a tenon-saw from the town saddler.

1936 The Australian Cricket Board announced it's intention of banning that horrendous past-time of barracking at Test Matches.
Hmph!

Stuff-
The first Aussie bird taken overseas was not Cheryl from Frankston (or a Dapto Dog if you're from Wollongong) in her moccies with her Winnie blues shoved in her t-shirt sleeve, but the Black Swan in 1697.

1944 The first hydro-electric power station began chugging out the power at Kiewa in Victoria.


Place Name Origin-
Arnhem Land in the Northern Territory got it's title from that curious chap Matthew Flinders who named it in honour of the Dutch vessel, Arnhem, that bobbed along the coastline in 1623 after being seperated from it's companion ship.
In true happy ending style the crew landed at New Guinea and were killed by natives.

1954 The very last tram trip chugged along it's tracks in Christchurch.

Great Aunt Hepzibah's Handy Hints-
If the man in your life is annoying you - and who's isn't! - scare him a little by getting out a tape measure and silently measure him from top to toe.
Don't tell him what it's for, then go out and start digging a hole in the backyard.
Make sure he sees the hole and keep measuring him, to check your calculations.
Next time he opens his mouth to disagree with you, simply put your finger to your lips, point outside and say,
"One word and you'll find out if I got the depth right".

*Of course you won't really use it, but it's a great way to release your frustration and temper.

13 comments:

Angel Gurl said...

just as well I had finished drinking my coffee before I read the hint that Great Aunt H suggested. My Dh is sif foot something so I could be digging for sometime and given I dont like to get my hands dirty, I would say he is pretty safe. But it certainly made me laugh out loud. Brillant.

Angel Gurl said...

eeeks that should read six foot not sif foot

Brian Hughes said...

"Don't tell him what it's for, then go out and start digging a hole in the backyard."

If Michelle did that to me, I'd suspect she'd found something of archaeological importance under the douglas fir.

Bettina said...

Is that a tried and true remedy for troublesome spouses that you've used on yours? lol

lmao @ your idea of a happy ending!!

Jayne said...

You could always make him curl up in the hole, to save on digging, Janine ;)

Yes, you could be classed as "something of archaeological importance" after being in the ground for a couple of centuries, Brian :P

I keep offering him FB's big hole in the backyard, Bettina lol.

miss diarist said...

I'm so glad I didn't live in Mansfield back in the day...

Jayne said...

You could have got,
"Would you like gravy with your appendicectomy?" !

jeanie said...

lol - I saw about 300 students singing "Possom (in my bed)" or whatever it is called today - your story immediately resurrected that lovely tune!

I figure sawing wood to the measurements would save time and he can dig his own grave (as he often does)

Jayne said...

LOL Jeanie!

pure evyl said...

2001 is the year that made 9/11 a day never to forget here in the States.

baby~amore' said...

I wonder if the measuring and digging a hole will work on my teen LOL - now where is the spade !

Jayne said...

A very sad day indeed Evyl.

Get him to dig his own, Trish ;)

leechbabe said...

Great idea Aunty Hep.

Off to find my tape measure now. :D

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