Sunday, October 5, 2008

Trivial History October 5

Now that I've returned from my brief but delightful escape to the Mornington Peninsula you might get some replies out of me.
I don't promise any sense, but replies you shall have!

Just for Kelley who has a very normal, rational terror of hairy Huntsman spiders -
Sucked up a big massive country-bred Huntsman with the super-large vacuum cleaner one day and waited in vain for the girly squeals of the then-(now ex) hubby when he emptied it.
Noticed soon afterwards that the vacuum wasn't sucking nearly as much as the whiny hubby was.
The unwritten law of spiders says they are supposed to curl up into teeny-tiny balls when injured/dead (or sucked into the *Vacuum Cleaner of Death) and look very unimpressive when you parade your brave kill to others.
This one tried to follow the unwritten law of spiders but that Huntsman was so big and fat and hairy and LARGE it had completely blocked the wider-than-usual vacuum tube with it's MASSIVE body.
And the bastard still wasn't quite deceased....
It was after my size 10 boot dealt with it.

(*Vacuum Cleaners of Death don't seem to work on ex-hubbys, unfortunately, and not for want of trying, either. Size 10 boots, however, will leave a lasting impression on them). 

Tis the old Audlem Wakes, once held at Audlem in Cheshire, England; with such festivities and prizes awarded for "3 old women to drink hot tea", "Eating hasty pudding", " 3 men smoking tobacco" no wonder they awarded the role of Mayor to the first person who got drunk.
Much more fun than voting!

Kiwi Slanguage-
Boohai = an out-of-the-way non-existent place, often referred to as "up the boohai shooting pukeko's with a long handled shovel" as a reply to "Where are you going?"

1789 Excitement gripped everyone by the short and curlies when they launched the Rose Hill Packet, the first ship they threw together in the colony and it graced the Parramatta River for rough trade.

Stuff-
Miss Annie Smith and Miss Tilke began one of the first schools in Wellington, NZ, but it soon folded after Miss Tilke forsook teaching for the greener pastures of married life in Adelaide, South Oz.

1836 Hearing that they were a wild lot down in the Port Phillip Colony (Victoria) they sent forth the first police officer to round up the troublemakers and keep the peace, J. W Hooson, from Sydney.

Place Name Origin -
Attadale in Westralia was thus titled by a rather homesick Scot who owned the land, Sir Alexander Matheson, after a town in Scotland that was situated near the fishing village he was dragged up in, Applecross (which he also named in Westralia, but you'd know that if you'd been taking notes from previous entries. If not, cheat sheets will be available at the end of the class).

1866 3 murderers of the Burgess Gang were hanged by their necks until they expired at Nelson Gaol.
They were guilty of the brutal Maungatapu Mountain killings.

Oz Slanguage-
Crash hot = describing something that is really good.

1899 A good day's fishing was permanently interrupted when they made ed-ya-cay-shun free but compulsory in Westralia.

Stuff-
The founding director of Ampol, W.G Walkley, established the Walkley Awards for Australian Journalism in 1955.

1899 The first NZ contingent for the Boer War sailed from Lyttelton.

NZ Place Name Origin -
Barrett Reef in Wellington Harbour was named to honour a trader and whaler who wasn't on many people's Chrissy card list long before he popped his clogs ; Richard Barrett.
The reef isn't the only place he lent his moniker to; Barrett Lagoon, Barrett Road, Barrett Domain, Barrett Street and the Barrett Street Hospital.

1892 The Australian Cricket Council announced a new inter-colonial competition was to be held, known as the Sheffield Shield and named after the Earl of Sheffield who had donated £150 for a trophy for an annual tournament.

Stuff -
This is where I mumble a lot to sound informative.

1982 Queen Liz beamed down from the mothership to take over the Earth open the Australian National Gallery.

Because I Can -
I'm fangin' for a bit of chocolate right now...

1982 Kiwi Neroli Fairhall, a paraplegic archer, competed against able-bodied athletes at the Brisbane Commonwealth Games and came away with a Gold medal.

Great Aunt Hepzibah's Handy Hints-
Putting a teabag in the cup helps to make a cup of tea.
Hot water is also handy.

1984 Christchurch chappie Greg Mortimer made it to the top of that ruddy great lump known as Mt Everest without oxygen.

Grandma Mehitabel's Menu-
Go on strike.

Get takeaway.

1992 Paul Keating, the one they made a musical about and who also just happened to be Prime Minister, announced to all and sundry that Queen Liz didn't give a fat rat's clacker about Aussie dunny paper would no longer accept any recommendations for any of us colonials to be turned into rabbit-skin booties knights or dames.

Blah ,Blah, Blah -
Nothing worth watching on TV now Doctor Who has finished so you may as well go to bed early or broaden your mind with a little reading of War and Peace.

12 comments:

Marita said...

You might let Great Aunt Hep know that it also helps to turn the kettle on :) I found this out the hard way when trying to make tea yesterday.

As for spiders. I remember grabbing a can of fly spray once to kill a spider in the bathroom. Only it turns out I grabbed the hairspray by mistake. Damn thing was stuck solid to the wall (super strong hold, it was the 80's after all), I had to get my mum to come in and remove it.

Bettina said...

good points about the tea!

I'm gonna see things crawling out of the corner of my eyes for weeks after al these spider stories!! *shudder*

Anja said...

Want to take a guess at what's crawling on my shoulder at the moment. It's so pretty.

Jayne said...

LOL Marita, I've been known to do that with hair spray, too. I wasn't thanked by the arachnid community for my hairdressing efforts, though.

Nastie crawlies are everywhere at the moment,Bettina.Yick!

And it can just stay put on your shoulder,Anja, lol, no matter how pretty it might be.

Kelley said...

I was almost too scared to open your blog thinking that you had a pic of a spider (like someone who EMAILED me a huge spider pick *cough* Anja you bitch *cough*) but phew...

And *vomit*. I will not be sucking up those suckers with my vac now.

Jayne said...

They breed those bastards bloody big in the country, Kelley !

Angel Gurl said...

ewww at those spiders, I remember my friend had one he called it a pet!! The freak!!! Who the heck called them a pet?

Riayn said...

It is going to be a sad Sunday night with no Doctor Who to watch. Still the final episode was truly brilliant. Now we just have to wait until Christmas for the Christmas episode.

Brian Hughes said...

"...broaden your mind with a little reading of War and Peace."

Read it. It's rubbish. Have a try at Dostoyevsky's 'Tales from Underground' instead. The chapters are shorter and it's considerably funnier.

Jayne said...

Janine, the only spiders I call pets are the dead variety or Daddy Long Legs ones ;)

Fingers crossed we actually get it at Christmas this year, Riayn ;)

Nothing could be funnier than the A - K section of the medical dictionary, Brian, although I'll grant you that the pictures in Dostoevsky's Poor Folk make one's sides hurt with laughter.

RVB said...

Doctor Who has finished so you may as well go to bed early...

You could start downloading the Torchwood season II episodes (which explain why there were only three people manning TWood HQ) or, failing that, start writing protest emails to the ABC for not showing Torchwood II in time.

Jayne said...

Reuben, I have a voodoo doll of the programmer and am poking it with very sharp, pointy things as I type lol ;)

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