Friday, November 14, 2008

Trivial History November 15

Wild and wicked weather is winging its way to you in the north-east of Victoria and NSW.
I shall be parked on my rather large rump retired from watering the vegie garden for at least a week.
Carry on!

1769 Captain Cook had had a "Captain Cook" (rhyming slang = look) at The Land of The Long White Cloud and liked what he saw; so he ran his bloomers British Flag up the flag pole he just happened to have handy and claimed Velvet soap got his smalls sparkly clean the sod in the name of King George III.

Aussies are invading the Old Dart one slow stroke at a time

1791 Parramatta was mildly underwhelmed when a stick was shoved into the dirt; within a few years the residents were to enjoy the wine from the very first grape vine planting.

Ooooooo a surfer got up close and personal with a whale in Oz...have they let Mandy Vanstone back in the country?

1801 He of the woolly sheep infamy, John Macarthur, shipped himself off to England to face his Court Martial.
Hoo roo!

Hillary is a hot favourite for a posting with Obama. Finally! She can tell Bill where to stick his cigar!

1830 The first hackney coach in the Land of Oz began trundling passengers about the streets of Sydney Town.

Everywhere you look the 'R' word is being tossed about, willy nilly, like schoolgirls flinging confetti....or that may be stockbrokers shredding their business and banking documents....

1838 The future site of the Royal Mint in William Street, Melbourne, played host to the very first cricket match in Victoria.

The shite has well and truly hit the fan and thus this will go down in history as the Who Flung Dung Decade.
Unless you live in my house while I attempt to give up smoking, then it shall be an hourly occurrence.

1838 Sydney's Supreme Court was littered with human garbage as 11 stockman faced the first trial over the disgusting Myall Creek Massacre in which they brutally slaughtered 28 Aborigines.

Andre Rieu played a violin, Symonds played cricket, the Ruddster played the media, but who cares? 
Get back to basics and play a game of marbles!

1851 Having their priorities right the good people of Christchurch had the first pub, the White Hart Hotel, serving up the froth and bubbly.

The Plastic Fantastics are at it again. Someone make them stop. Please.

1861 Paper boys on street corners in Dunedin finally had something to sell when the Otago Daily Times was published for the first time.

NZ is ranked 5th in the world for gender equality...good old Oz is tumbling down the list at 21.
Ya know, asking a female MP to strip for a blokes mag will do that, you knob-jockeys.

1879 Wantabadgery Station near Wagga Wagga had some gate crashers in the form of Captain Moonlite and his gang who, within 3 days, held 52 prisoners hostage.

NSW is buying in single deck choo-choos....can you toss a few of those double deckers down to Victoria if you're not going to use them? Ta.

1944 The Aussie Govt decided it was right and proper to send the Australian Women's Land Army members overseas.

Keating proves to be full of vinegar when refusing to donate his signiture to a bottle of plonk for a charity auction.
Hey, Paul? G'day Scumbag.

1949 That ever-so-popular yoke around people's necks, petrol rationing, was temporarily re-introduced in the mainland states of Oz.

Yet more proof the average Tom, Dick or Jim can give basic lessons in finance to those scary creatures in charge of our moolah in Canberra.

1978 That shudderingly high bit of concrete, West Gate Bridge in Melbourne, was opened.

Tassie Parliament are debating Aussie Cricket Captain, Ponting. Are they debating the fact he's as substantial as fairy floss or that the groaning sound is Bradman turning in his grave?

2006 It snowed in QLD.
You know...the hot state up the top of the hot Isle of Oz, the one with the hot pointy bit and HOT weather?

Cane toads are killing off crocodiles.
Finally we know what killed the dinosaurs, Harold Holt, Phar Lap, Les Darcy and Princess Diana.


  1. Wild and wicked weather is winging its way to you in the north-east of Victoria and NSW.

    Excellent. Anything beats the Australian summer. The thought of all them water tanks being filled is satisfying than any desalination plant.

  2. Kate Ellis is probably holding out for more money. 30,000 is more of an insult than a legitimate offer.

  3. "Captain Cook had had a "Captain Cook" (rhyming slang = look)"

    I'm glad you explained that...I thought you were reciting some half-forgotten and extremely crass rhyme from the old school playground for a moment.

  4. Exactly, Reuben ;)

    LOL Evyl!

    Oh,Brian, you mean something like -

    Captain Cook chased a chook
    All around Australia.
    Lost his pants in the middle of France,
    And found them in Tasmania.

  5. Er...not exactly...I was thinking more along the lines of 'Donald Duck, Had a...' etc. We were very broadminded and unpleasant children.

  6. I was thinking about the one:

    Captain Cook had a poop
    Behind the kitchen door

    Damn, can't remember the next bit, but it ends with...

    And said, "can I have some more"

  7. Donald Duck had a buck, Brian?
    His uncle was rather rich :P

    Ahhh, Anja, there's a couple of versions...
    Captain Cook did a poop
    Behind the kitchen door
    A blade of grass tickled his arse
    And made him do some more.

    The other versions involve a cat and a hat, but not one inside the other.

  8. lol por old Captain Cook didn't stand a chance (I have never heard of any of these versions) maybe its a nz thing or an age thing lol. Although I am thining of rhyming words for duck, truck? luck? lol.....

    Interesting that oz is number 21 for gender equality, I thought at least you would be in the top 5 if not 10.

  9. With some of the "old boys' clubs" in the media here,Janine, I'm not surprised in the least.