Monday, November 24, 2008

Trivial History November 25

We have strange people in this nation who have far too much time on their hands and, so, they come up with weird and wacky ideas.
Yes, we really should put the politicians to work with a shovel on a train line somewhere.
But, seriously, closure of the Simpson Desert has the nutters howling about UFO landings and aliens taking over...proves they haven't been paying attention or they'd know Rudd already took over 12 months ago and resistance is futile.

1789 Guv Philip started paving his own road to Hell when he captured aborigines Bennelong and Colbee for an exchange of cultural references and ideas...and the recipe for that delicous soup.
Haunted couch in Bristol....or there's something in the teapot other than Earl Grey.

1803 First child pupped to English settlers in Victoria; Master William James Hobart Thorne popped out to see what the weather was like at Sullivan Bay near Sorrento.
(can you picture his mother standing on the beach screeching "William James Hobart Thorne get home and finish peeling the spuds for your dinner... or else").

Mayor thinks dredging is a state concern...and yes it is, having dredged the bottom of the barrel for their latest State Premier.

1903 Timaru boxer Bob Fitzsimmons won his 3rd world boxing title and became the first man to hold a world title in three different boxing weight divisions.

Bizarre alien beings are visiting Oz but they're in chatrooms and forums not, according to the lastest conspiracy theory, hiding out in the Simpson Desert.

1910 The Royal Aussie Navy (watch me get my arse keel hauled for that) when the Feds passed the Metamucil Aussie Naval Oranges Defence Act.

Staying in good health in Qld...in other words don't get sick and no one needs to get hurt.

1913 During the NZ wharf strike 700 "special" constables parked their posteriors in Lyttelton so that non-union blokes could work safely.

Possibity of cheaper rental homes....yeah, they're called cardboard boxes.

1916 In an effort to keep men from wandering off into sheep paddocks the British Govt agreed to buy the Oz wool clip for the duration of the war.

Documents about drug use in sports missing...probably down the S-bend with the urine samples.

1971 Women were finally allowed out alone after dark when late night shopping began in Victoria.
The Sunday roast leg of lamb was always a handy weapon.

Aircraft will track journey of rescued pilot whales....larger jets used to track Rudd's journeys.

1985 Finally, something decent was found in the Oz House of Representatives....when a bloke in a chicken suit waltzed in and sat himself down.

Carpet snake a bit dizzy after wrapped around vehicle fan belt...but still makes more sense than Inga Peulich.

2003 Victorian Parliament passed its 12,000th Act (but who's counting and who cares?).

Cows running amok on Tullamarine Freeway after truck accident....I really wish they'd give Belinda Neal a car.

9 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

"...we really should put the politicians to work with a shovel on a train line somewhere..."

Preferably one with a lot of trains on it.

jeanie said...

Aliens in the Simpson TOO?

lol - we have enough here, so maybe they are shutting the gates to keep them OUT?

Anja said...

I have visions of Belinda Neal beating up a jet.

Jayne said...

The Fat Controller wouldn't be so fat, Brian ;)

Yep, Jeanie, the fragile ecology can't handle those Extra Testicles tramping all over the place.

Those are called nightmares, Anja ;)

Mistress B said...

so it's a leg of lamb that I'm meant to have in my handbag and not a brick?

That could get a bit.... eewwwwy!

RVB said...

Doncaster line needs some work...perhaps we could get all 1500 bureaucrats from the Department of Transport to pitch in (and actually be useful for once).

Jayne said...

Multi-purpose meat, B, swing it like a baseball bat and then roast its tender, juicy goodness for the family ;)

We could, Reuben, but they'll take a while to acclimatise themselves to the effort of rolling their sleeves up to begin with ;)

Kelley said...

seriously chick you should be an Australian history teacher. Cause you make that boring shit interesting. Or at least funny.

Jayne said...

Thanks, Kelley ;)

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