Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Trivial History November 26

I have some deeply sad news to impart to you, dear readers; try as I might there were no nude news articles for today.
So keep your clothes on and keep the champers for another day.

1910 The ship Terra Nova sailed from Lyttelton with Scott's second (but not-quite-as-successfully-returning-back-alive) Expedition to Antarctica.

Put away the old jokes about whips and feather dusters, this parrot got its freak on with it's owner's feather hat....while she was in it!


1919 Having a slight fetish about electric light, the Victorian State Electricity Commission (hands up those who remember them?!) thought plonking a powerhouse on the brown coal field at Morwell in the Latrobe Valley was a good idea.

Painting of a wicked woman found at NGV......damn, thought I'd burnt all the self-portraits of the mother-in-law.
Geeze, how I'd love to hang her from the nearest picture hook....


1942 The Battle of Brisbane took place - a major battle broke out between the US and Oz servicemen. Shots were fired, 1 Aussie died from being shot by an American MP while many others were seriously injured.

Mobile phones are being used to listen in on koalas to figure out what they're saying.....yes, I can see the transcript in primary school text books will go something like,
"Oi, Bazza! Ya big boofhead bastard, get ya fat arse outta me tree, ya shifty prick. Yeah, gorn, bugger off, ya big girls' blouse and leave me missus alone. Charlene was lookin' for ya, she's up the duff again; geeze can't ya keep ya wedding tackle in ya fur, ya greedy mongrel?"

1959 The memorial to NZ airmen who died in WW2, Memorial Ave in Canterbury, was officially opened.

Qld police, like Canadian Mounties, will always get their man....even if they take 30 years.


1960 Kiwi Keith Holyoake got the gold elephant stamp at the elections and began his 12 year reign as PM of NZ.

Shocking news was kept till last - if the fact Russians are cutting back on their vodka (is that ice skating I hear in Hell?) isn't frightening enough, add to it that Germany is running out of Santas (coz those naughty elves just didn't make enough this year, boys and girls).
Someone is going to have a really boring-as-batshit Christmas !

8 comments:

RVB said...

try as I might there were no nude news articles for today.

Keep trying; try flashing your knickers at Spring Street.

Brian Hughes said...

"Someone is going to have a really boring-as-batshit Christmas !"

Me hopefully. I can't stand Christmas. Bah humbug and all that.

angel gurl said...

I find it disturbing that people will be using mobile phones to try and listen to koalas and work out what they are saying.....but i learnt something new about koalas reading that article...

Anja said...

I love koalas. The bastards sit around all day, as their diet doesn't allow them to be anything but lethargic. Although... they do love to piss on a politician (gotta love it) and their nocturnal activities (getting Charlene up the duff) sounds evil. Weird little bastards, the old koala. :)

pure evyl said...

If that parrot story gets out bigtime then Slim n Sexy pills should see sales go through the roof.

BTW, did you know that toast has aphrodesiacal qualities? Yeah Toast!!!

Jayne said...

I think the pollies fish nets and g-strings would garner more interest, Reuben :P

So you won't be leaving Santa a bottle of beer out, Brian?

Just like wombats, Janine, a koala eats roots and leaves ;)

Gotta love 'em, Anja, just for piddling on a pollie ;)

I can see the ads now, Evyl -
"Want to get back to grunting like a koala in the sack? Then stop playing with feather and leather and get the real thing happening..."
Toast ?

Brian Hughes said...

The only thing I'll be leaving out for Santa, Jayne, is a bear trap in the hearth.

Jayne said...

Contributing to history, as always, Brian...
"...and that, children, is how Santa came to be known as the famous North Pole Pegleg Pirate."

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