Thursday, December 25, 2008

Boxing Day Trivial History

After stuffing our gizzards with party food, choccies, mince tarts, lollies, seafood entree, roast chook, roast beef, roast baa-lamb, roast pork and baked vegies galore, followed by mini pavs, scones with jam and whipped cream and brandy snap baskets filled with berries and ice cream we're all finding it easier to roll ourselves around the house.
I tried for rolled roast 'roo but The Spouse refused to have Scorched Skippy on his plate. Party pooper.

Whoever swiped all the mini Cherry Ripes will be breathalysed before they leave the house.
Yes, I do have strong beliefs in The Power of Chocolate.
And your point is....?

Yes, it's Boxing Day which is nothing to do with belting up your neighbour who played music too loudly or throwing out all the boxes those damn toys arrived in....but you can do that, too.
On St Stephen's Day (Boxing Day) many long years ago the wealthy would give gifts of cold hard cash (or other worthy trinkets) to those in a lesser social standing than their own ( IE the poor).
So, keeping the tradition alive, we have a public holiday....on which we do bugger all...except watch some boat race from Sydney to Hobart...or the cricket....or sleep in....

The chocolate Turkish Delights were kicked to the kerb in The Large Basket of Chocolatey goodness but, fear not!
I shall rescue the poor things and give them the home they have always dreamt of.....

Today is the first of the 12 days of Christmas which originated waaaay back in the mists of time in the Roman festival for the God Saturn, the Saturnalia.
Buggered if I know why, there was far too much drinking and jocularity taking place for any of us to make notes at the time and the memories are a little fuzzy these days.

The Freddo Frogs were a damn fine investment for the Christmas table....even if they disappeared faster than a rat up a drainpipe...

The first day of Christmas and my Truelove (Stephen Fry, David Tennant, Hugh Jackman, Konstatin Khabensky, Vince D'Onofrio, take your pick, anything with a pulse will do) gave to me (Hmph! in my dreams) Angelina Jolie permanently stuck up a gum tree.
Ohhh, now that gives every woman an even chance....

Peppermint Freddo was on my Santa list but I gave the Fat Dude a helping hand...thankfully The Tribe know the Unwritten Law of The Old Cow's Green Freddos and the Fearsome Punishment meted out to those who Dare to even Glance at a Peppermint Freddo....

1855 Boring stuff happened with the cheap hookers foundation stone being laid for the Victorian Legislative Assembly.

Lazing in the bean bag out on the back lawn with a good book, a cold (soft) drink and only half a million ants biting your ankles (instead of the full 2 million ants from the ant nest on which you're sitting) made for a relaxing day....
Oh and having cooked the meats and vegies the night before helped, too....

1856 Coz the smart arse Victorian pollies had plopped the tax on Chinese immigrants landing in Victoria, the none-too silly Chinese began, on this day, to land in South Oz and use Shanks' Pony to get themselves to the Victorian gold fields.
Did The Fat Chimney Fairy deliver the goods you ordered?
Or did you get another 5,000 piece jigsaw that has 1 piece missing and is a picture of the ocean....at night....away from land....made by some twisted jigsaw freak...?

1862 Some bloke in Walhalla stopped gazing at his naval and looked up at them thar hills and thought,
"I wonder if there's any belly button lint up there?"
Sadly, the bloke never did find his longed-for lint....but he found some yellow glittery stuff that made men rush to rescue it from the ground.

Hope you kept the water up and didn't get too much alcohol on board...otherwise you'll find you were the life of the party, will be invited back again next year but you won't have a hope in Hell of living up to the entertainment standard you've set....

1870 The very first rowing regatta in Canterbury was held in the local widow's bath-tub Avon River.

Rudolph The Red Nosed Drag Queen was a great meal accompaniment...though the future-son-in-law almost choked when the lyrics finally sunk in during a mouthful of roast chook....

1879 In both Christchurch and Timaru Catholic Irishmen attacked Orangemen in riots to stop the Orangemen from holding processions.

Let Me Be a Drag Queen went well with the gift giving part of the day.....although The Spouse was a bit tentative about his frilly-wrapped pressie for a brief moment....

1905 NZ's first official car race happened when the Automobile Association held a Great Automobile Gymkhana at the Addington trotting grounds....though I doubt there was much trotting, cantering, dressage or jumps attempted by this particular gymkhana....I could be wrong....

A favourite, How Bizarre, didn't describe any of the pressies this year...or the family...or the neighbours...all boringly normal and civilised....*sigh* How Bizarre!

1906 The world's first feature-length fillum, The Story of The Kelly Gang, premiered in Melbourne.
Many have tried - and failed miserably - to capture the essence of Ned Kelly on film but the best effort is the 2003 comedy movie Ned...no, NOT the awful Heath Ledger movie although that could be loosely referred to as funny....in a twisted way...

He drinks the whiskey drink, he drinks the vodka drink, he drinks the lager drink, he drinks the cider drink....certainly pissing the night away and Tubthumping wasn't on our agenda...this year, at least....

2004 The Boxing Day Tsunami claimed more than 350,000 in 13 countries.

The Fairytale of New York with the Late, Great Kirsty MacColl....and The Pogues....is another old fav....

2005 The Lord From On High, His Lordship, His Nibs, He Who Shall Be Obeyed aka Kerry Packer, popped his clogs and buggered off into the sunset.
And Channel 9 TV has gone down the gurgler in quality ever since; I didn't think it was possible for A Current Affair to get any worse but I was proved wrong there.....

A song I so wished I could play on-air...Bugger off, You Bastards....only in the spirit of the song, of course!

12 comments:

Andrew said...

Missing Cherry Ripes? You invited Jahteh to your christmas bash?

Nudge Jayne, Fry is gay, the others, from info I even received tonight, are 'definitely' not gay. So there you go.Who said Huge Ackerman got his start in gay bars along the lines of David Campbell.

Packer died on christmas day? That must have buggered up the family christmas!

Brian Hughes said...

It's only halfway through Christmas Day here (still got the joys of Detoxing Day to come) and already I feel like punching the neighbours up the bracket.

ELIZABETH said...

Started yesterday and continuing today.
Between chocolate, wine, beer, booze I;m set for the next year. Ok ok the chocolate might last til the end of the month.

Sounds like your day was Merry. Isn't Christmas fun.

Marita said...

So did you break and end up giving future-son-in-law a crocheted dunny dolly? :grin:

Merry Christmas

Anja said...

All that talk of chocolate has made me very hungry. Kerry Packer croaked on Christmas Day... didn't know that. And to the world, he gave us his f***tard son, Jamie. And that folks, was the end of Channel 9.

Jayne said...

Yes, I know he's gay, Andrew, but I cankeep hoping he may feel the urge to pole vault the fence....maybe :P
Packer died on Boxing Day so it buggered up the guzzling ;)

Have another bowl of egg nog, Brian, it makes the neighbours look slightly better ;)

Yep, Elizabeth, it's a grand hoot :)

I was able to restrain myself, Marita lol ;)

Unfortunately the offspring has bred so we shant hear the end of that sorry saga, Anja ;)

anonymum said...

Been giggling all the way through this! How bloody true is that about a Current Affair?? They've gone beyond the gutter to the sewer.
In true Australian tradition the cricket is currently on the TV and it will be changed for the start of the Sydney to Hobart very shortly.
And yes, a cold beer is residing in a stubby holder in my left hand...I'm typing with my right
Hope your day is wonderful....

Jayne said...

Having a great day, thanks Moe, winding down from yesterday's madness and pottering about at my leisure :)

RVB said...

On St Stephen's Day (Boxing Day) many long years ago the wealthy would give gifts of cold hard cash (or other worthy trinkets) to those in a lesser social standing than their own ( IE the poor).

Cough up Brumby!

Jayne said...

Think you might need to give him a helping pat on the back there, Reuben ;)

Kelley said...

You listened to Tubthumping on Christmas Day.

I pink puffy heart you.

And chick, I snorted out loud constantly throughout this post. God I freaking needed that.

Thanks!

Jayne said...

Pass your glass for a re-fill, Kelley ;)

ShareThis