Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Trivial History Christmas Eve Panic Special

Today's installment is brought to you by the screeching, squealing kiddies demanding every Tickle My Bank Account Emos While I Transform Into A Bunch of Turtles and/or Bizarre Creatures Dreamt Up By A Cartoonist On A Bad Acid Trip plush toy.

Or you could join me in the random mind trek trying to find something (ANYTHING) for the future-son-in-law.
But I have drawn the line at the crocheted dunny dolly...

PSSSSSST! The star at the top of the tree is really to remind us mere mortals about the Star God or Goddess and exchanging gifts is to remember the great goodies all the Mother Goddesses give us.
And there is Lutzelfrau, a Yuletide witch, who'll certainly bless you with all shades of mischief if you forget to leave her a lil sumthin...

1247 Robin Hood popped his clogs.
Or he just became the World Champ at hide and seek.

Another festival, another piss-up....a Rural Dionysia was held in Ancient Greece to honour the God of wine, women and song Dionysus, with heavy drinking and revellery being the order of the day. *hic*

1852 Poor old bushranger Captain Frank Melville (who lent his name to the Melville caves) wasn't having a very merry season as he was captured near Geelong. Hmph, anywhere but unfashionable Geelong...!

The old Roman custom of greening the temple with tree branches eventually led to the whole Christmas Tree business bonanza, with a tree coming from a Christmas Tree Farm near you...

1861 The very first English cricket team popped into Port Melbourne where they received an over-whelming welcome.
So, tell us, Brian....what was it really like when you arrived...?

Should a strange chappie knock on your door and assail you with carols whilst astride a wooden hobby horse, fear not. He is merely hodening, an old English custom where men were let off the leash went about spreading good cheer.

1864 Christchurch's first gas street lights were lit....without the benefit of feral farting and cigarette lighters.

Just when you thought Big Brother was all about a bunch of strangers sharing a dunny roll in a house, NORAD is tracking Santa...they are the ones who know if he's been naughty or nice!

1886 The Academy of Music in Adelaide was labouring under a curse as it burnt down for the 3rd time in 3 years, with 3 firemen killed on this ocassion.

Yes, boys and girls, Santa really does snatch half a dozen albino 'roos to haul his fat arse across the Land of Oz....

1937 Carols By Candlelight was born when radio presenter Norman Banks was walking along St Kilda road when he saw, through a window, an old lady singing along to carols played on the radio by just candle light.

1938 The first Carols by Candlelight were held at midnight in the Alexander Gardens with 10,000 people.

1953 151 lives were lost in NZ's worst railway disaster when the Wellington-Auckland night express fell into the Whangaehu River due to the bridge having been weakened from a volcanic mudslide only minutes before.

Santa is hunting his ho, ho ho's....after the 12 Aussie Days of Christmas...

1974 Cyclone Tracy levelled the city of Darwin, leaving the "official" death toll at 71 but suspected to be greatly higher.

Sort of Dunno Nothin', the song that totally sums up the conversational high points of a moody teenager...


  1. Norman Banks has a lot to answer for. Crowded trams this evening with people going the Myer Music Bowl. Must be for rehearsal.

    Future son in law? There is someone who I don't know about. Never mind. What about a Swiss Army Pocket Knife thingy?

  2. Have a fab xmas and new years Jayne. Loved your prciuos dolls in the post below you got some bargains there. A grown man singing on a wodden hobby horse in this day and age would sounds like he was a few sandwhiches short of a picnic lol. eeeks at pressies for son in law.....what about a subtle subscription to a car magazine lol, just grab a mag roll it up and say you have a years sub and then arraneg teh sun in Jan....

  3. eeeks bad spelling it should read arrange the subscription in Jan.

  4. Robin Hood and Elvis are in Vegas getting drunk and doing bad stage shows together.

  5. "So, tell us, Brian....what was it really like when you arrived...?"

    Full of chooks and wombats...remarkably similar to how it is now, or so I've been told.

  6. Have a very merry Christmas, Jayne.

    I read on The Age this morning that something like 117,000 shoppers were at the Chad overnight for 24 hour shopping. Cripes.

  7. As long as you are giving away Emo's I want a Cut Me Emo. ;)

  8. It's the economic crisis, Andrew, they're saving on the electricity bill with the candles ;)

    Thanks, Janine, lol, I understood ya. Merry Xmas to you and Mike :)

    Oops, did you see that shocking stage show, too, Marita?

    Hmmmm roast wombat and chooks that could burrow for miles....

    Have a good one, MD. EEK!Not touching Chaddy with a barge pole till sometime in Feb!

    They're the most popular Emos this season, Evyl :P

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  10. I have nothing for a future son-in-law except how repeated litanies of "tidy your room" really don't achieve much - same thing my mum probably thought all those years ago.

  11. Thanks, Robert, have a happy and safe Christmas yourself :)

    He's already house-trained, Jeanie (my daughter picked well!) so I might browse the recipe books for him ;)

  12. Have a wonderful time in this dang silly season.

  13. I shall indeed, Anja, and may you have a grand time, too :)