Saturday, December 13, 2008

Trivial History December 13

My list for the Fat Bloke...
I expect to see the corn as high as an elephant's eye, the silverbeet racing the sunflowers in height, the carrots nice and fat, cabbages residing in the cabbage plants - if I find another radish has taken up the lease I shall scream - and could you throw in a couple of celery plants that don't have earwigs polishing their silver inside of them?
The broccoli, bok choy and spinach has been delicious, Red Suited Dude, and thanks for letting them self-seed all over the vegie patch but do you think you could drop off the stir fry beef that usually goes with them in the wok as I'm having a right old bitch of a time getting those buggers to sprout.
Ok, ta, off to watch the Fundies get fed to the lions again, always a fun night out!

1642 Abel Tasman - Tassie to his mates - was idly swinging his telescope to and fro across the ocean at High Noon (as he'd taken bets on whether the mermaids would beat the octopus in race 6) when a great lump of dirt happened to obscure his line of vision.
Fortunately Mt Cook , and the rest of the Southern Alps in NZ, were easily removed when Tassie simply turned his back on them.

1858 Mark this down in your diaries as a Red Letter Day!
The Carlton Brewery was birthed in Melbourne.

1890 The Kiwi-Aussie Queen of Bohemia - aka writer Dulcie Deamer - was pupped.

1940 Always stating the bleeding obvious, it was officially announced that most of the Island of Oz was in the furnace grip of drought.

1955 The world was presented to the ever polite and well mannered First Lady of Moonee Ponds, Mrs (later Dame) Edna Everage, when she graced the stage at the Union Theatre in Melbourne.

1983 Whoop-de-doo-dah.
(said in a weary voice) Excitement gripped no one when the 10,000th act of indecency the Victorian Parliament was passed with the dutchy from the left hand side Industrial Relations having a headache and going to bed for a good lie down with a Bex.

2005 Spencer Street Station - that great ugly lump of unimaginative concrete that greeted rail travellers to Marvellous Melbourne in the arse end of town - had been titivated in a right expensive balls up, the way only known to politicians. Probably hoping to distract the sensible public, then-Premier Bracks officially announced today that Spencer Street Station was to be henceforth known as the ugliest pile of wasted public money known to mankind Southern Cross Station.
Sadly, it's now a great ugly lump of unimaginative concrete with a wind tunnel effect all of its own but it shall always remain Spencer Street Station as no rude bugger asked me if they could change its name.
Hmph!

2006 The Baiji, the Chinese River Dolphin, was declared "probably extinct".
Congratulations.
There's only a few million more creatures on the planet we can kill off.

5 comments:

ELIZABETH said...

A friend who grows and sells flowers has to worry about earwigs so she..... puts a can or plastic upsidedown on a stake and stuffs it with damp paper. The earwigs are attracted to it or so she says.

I wish you a merry harvest
I wish you a merry harvest
I wish you a merry harvest
And a kitchen full of beer, cheer,really good veggies???

Anja said...

You put beef in your wok? *giggles* I leave it on the cow, it looks better that way.

jeanie said...

Oh I know the red man will just let it all bolt to seed here!!!

Spencer Street Station - did they really? Twerps.

Brian Hughes said...

"My list for the Fat Bloke..."

Good job I carried on reading. For a moment there I thought you wanted me to pick up your shopping for you.

Jayne said...

Thanks, Elizabeth, lol.

Yeah, but that makes it really chewy, Anja :P

Yes, they did, Jeanie, though I've used harsher language ;)

Oh,well, while you're at it,Brian...

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