Sunday, December 28, 2008

Trivial History December 28

A gentle reminder to those who received perfume for Christmas and are splashing it about with gay abandon ; a vital ingredient is Ambergris (whale vomit) and a little chunder goes a looooong way....

On the 3rd day of Christmas my Truelove (John Hannah, Adam Gilchrist, Tim Campbell, Robson Green, Adam Elliot) gave to me -
Tom Cruise on the Mothership, Jen permanently gagged and Angelina forever stuck up a gum tree.

1799 Ummm-ahhhhh, someone's gonna get their wrist slapped!
The gaol at Parramatta was burnt down to the ground for some unfathomable reason....

"Our Nic" the alien from another planet who barely squeezes into her human disguise, enjoys being dwarfed by Hugh Jackman....
Nic, darls,human females enjoy anythng Hugh Jackman can do but dwrafing them isn't high on the list....

1814 After the gaol incident Macquarie had a hard time calling a meeting of the local Aborigines to ask them to settle down in Parramatta.

Why, oh why are the Brits allowed to drink and change their name by deed poll?
It's not a pretty result....but it's bloody entertaining!

1836 Tis the day South Oz and Adelaide were firmly planted on the blueprints as today became Proclamation Day when the Crow Eaters told anyone who would listen how their colony was founded without a single convict and how they were all freebie settlers colony was announced

Apparently movie theatres were packed on Chrissy Day - do you people not have homes to go to ?

1857 Just for Elizabeth - Montreal was treated to a Lizard Storm, where thousands of the reptiles fell from on high and covered the footpaths and streets.
No, the Earth didn't stop spinning but women were forever afflicted afterwards with untidy menfolk who left trails of mess in their path....

Cate Blanchett reckons she's always surprised by her pregnancies.
I hope to God someone has told the silly woman how these things keep happening....

1860 Adelaide was dancing with glee as they could finally quench their thirst with a drop of H2o as the Thorndon Park reservoir water supply was connected at long last....it's amazing what you can do with a bit of Nylex hose, electrical tape, a paperclip and a hole in the ground!

Some movie goer shot a loud cinema patron who was distrubing his enjoyment of the arts....I want to see all ushers issued with hand-guns, especially in school hols!

1912 Mallets were waved about with frivolity when the very first croquet championships in NZ were held in City.

Lindsay, sweetie, I don't care who you're doing for the festive season but the season for sharing  does not include your need to share the dirty details about your olds' sex life.

1922 Merry Xmas, Lee, - the bloke who spun Spiderman into existence, Stan Lee, was pupped in New York.

George Michael is giving it away for free this Chrissy at the nearest public dunny online.

1929 Today was known as Black Saturday on Samoa when NZ military Police opened fire on a peaceful parade for Samoan independence at Apia ; 8 Samoans were killed by gunfire including the leader for independence Tupua Tamasese Lealofi III, 1 policeman was killed in the resulting melee and 1,500 supporters for independence disappeared into the bush not re-emerging until March the following year.

I think it's safe to assume Reece Witherspoon comes from the same planet as "Our Nic" when she admits her old man kept roadkill in his freezer....WTF...?!

1974 Angie Baby, the song about the magically insane chick who stuffed her boyfriends inside a radio ( doesn't everyone?!) dragged Aussie singer Helen Reddy to number 1 on the US singles charts.

Pull another chair up to the Christmas dinner table, there's a few penguins ready to gnaw their way through the usual seafood entree...

1989 The infamous Newcastle earthquake damaged many buildings leaving 120 injured and 13 dead.

A home-grown Stonehenge has appeared at Bendigo...which has given the locals something to natter about instead of the usual wool prices...

1989 The old Reds under the beds would be turning in their graves!
The Communist Party of Oz decided to call it a day and disband the party.

14 comments:

RVB said...

a vital ingredient is Ambergris (whale vomit) and a little chunder goes a looooong way....

Excellent. I love supporting the Japanese economy.

ELIZABETH said...

Robson Green....can I share?

Montreal ... now there's an interesting city. Get to try your French without crossing the Atlantic.

Dina said...

Whale vomit? Really?

I laughed so much at the Cate Blancett comment.

What's wrong with keeping road kill in the freezer? It's an American custom. We all do it. In fact, most of us have an extra freezer just for that purpose.

I think you're being very culturally insensitive.

No, I'm joking. But my sister did go to school with Witherspoon. She wasn't close enough to her to warrant a visit to the dead animals in the fridge.

Brian Hughes said...

"Why, oh why are the Brits allowed to drink and change their name by deed poll?"

I'm thinking of changing my name to Jack Daniels. It'll save time in the long run.

pure evyl said...

I never realized Nicole Kidman was that tall. Perhaps her forehead make her look shorter.

Widdle Shamrock said...

Whale vomit ??? LLLLLLovely.

I didn't know Helen Reddy was an Aussie.

Anja said...

Nope, nothing even remotely intelligent to say. You mention Hugh Jackman and my brain turns to silly putty.

Marita said...

Hubby would quite happily shoot anyone who was making noise during a movie. With the prices they are charging to go to the cinema right now I'd be more tempted to go and rape the persons wallet to get my refund for them spoiling the movie.

Jayne said...

You been tickling the uvula of the local humpback lately, Reuben? :P

Yep, I'll share that delicious bit of man-crumpet, Elizabeth ;)

Damn, Dina, your sister really missed out....on not a lot ;)

I thought your alias was going to be Glen Morangie, Brian :P

Every garden landscaper recommends against a tall, while wall of stone, Evyl...now you know why!

You'll never find whale vomit and Helen Reddy in the same room at the same time, WS, for some bizarre reason....

That's why they'd never let Dubbya meet Hugh, Anja, they couldn't afford the complete brain meltdown while he was in office ;)

Reuben said...

No, Jayne. I'll leave that job to someone like you (who's clearly had more experience). :)

Jayne said...

LMFAO
Only with bargepoles, Reuben...and after about 20 jars of the strongest mead :P

Mistress B said...

oh my, a little whale chunder certainly does go a long way!! lol

miss diarist said...

Surely if you were one of those silly Brits who changed names when drunk the first thing you'd do would be... CHANGE IT BACK?

Jayne said...

And there's always carrots, B !

One would logically think so, MD, but they seem to stick it out lol.

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