Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Trivial OMG 2008 Is Slipping Away History December 30

Any historian worth their salt would have toiled long to present a snap shot of the year that was; I'm not worth any pinch of salt, pepper, cardamon or even a generous sprinkling of dried rosemary leaves so you'll have to cope with one I baked earlier...
Or not.
Now, what month comes after January again...?

1828 Whatshisname Stirling was told to spot his bot, park his arse and generally make himself at home by lounging about the Swan River to occupy it for the Brits.
Oh, and they pipped him up to Lt for the privilege. *yawn*

On the 5th day of Christmas my Truelove (the late John Hargreaves, Colin Friels, David Campbell and Ernie Dingo) gave to me-
Nic-ole de-prived of Botox!
Madonna chained to her coffin, Tom Cruise on the Mothership, Jen permanently gagged and Angelina forever stuck up a gum tree.

1835 Charles Darwin buggered off after spending 9 days visiting NZ in HMS Beagle. He collected various rocks, shells, insects, etc, but his recollections of the English inhabitants weren't as pretty as the pinned butterflies.

Oh, look, just to remind us it's the silly season Princess Silly herself Heather "She showed me her leg, Norwegian wood" Mills is back bothering us again.

1865 See?! Determined to keep everyone out of mischief and away from their new Playstation Chrissy toys - and trying to keep the party season going - the Victorian Govt had another general election.

See what happens when Demon Spawn Paris Hilton hits town ; pollies run screaming to the hills, thieves try to flee in a hot air balloon and others loose their nuts when they steal cashews.

1916 Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian Queen, was in for a really rough hair day when he was poisoned with his wine, poisoned with sugary cakes, had the bejebus belted outta him, made into a pin cushion by being stabbed a fair few times,had his manly bits chopped off and tossed willy nilly across the room AND THEN, if that wasn't bad enough, he was used as target practice for firearms then rolled up in a carpet which was thrown into a river where he eventually drowned.
He really should have just stayed in bed.

The goldfish miracle...now we're waiting for him to turn his water into wine for the season....

1939 In Perth Daisy Bates' infamous book The Passing of The Aborigines was published.

Female companion wanted for tropical island....go on, click on the link, you know you're curious...but remember you can't vote anyone off this one and there's no prize money at the end!

1961 Townsville gained a new resident when the College of the Uni of Banana Benders Qld opened...and then changed its hairstyle to become known as James Cook Uni of Nth Qld in 1970.

Just another reason to go forth into the nether regions of your abode armed with a broom and the local looney bin on speed dial...

1988 Water restrictions were brought into force for the first time in City's (NZ) history due to the water table dropping a tad too much.
Welcome to Australia!

Alzheimers....they might not remember it but at least they get the joke you've told them 1001 times!

6 comments:

R.H. said...

You have won the RH award as Miss Weblog Sweetiepie, 2008.

Congratulations.

Brian Hughes said...

"Any historian worth their salt would have toiled long to present a snap shot of the year that was..."

I did. It took me almost twenty-five minutes.

Jayne said...

Thanks, Robert !

Geeze, you spent longer than me, Brian, you swot show-off you :P

RVB said...

If a man is worth his salt, Jayne, then that means his value is depreciated by some 89% or so.

pure evyl said...

Have the police looked into this woman in the Cashew Robbery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hpxtb-vQLtI

Didn't know if you had noticed it yet but I keep getting a weird pop up on your site.

Jayne said...

Only if he's water-logged, Reuben.

LOL Evyl.

Yeah, been getting that pop-up myself, I've disabled sezwho so it should disappear soon.

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