Friday, February 13, 2009

Love the Trivial goats History February 14

 It's St Valentine's Day.
Before you get a bollocking for forgetting the choccies, flowers and announcing undying love in a newspaper entry, offer to get back to the origins of the day and sacrifice animals in a cave somewhere.
Then if your beloved jumps at the chance you know you've got a freakin' bunny boiler on your hands and you'd best sleep with an ice pick under your needlepoint.....

1779 Poor old Jimmy Cook (known these days as Captain James Cook) got his goose well and truly cooked when the Sandwich Islanders (known these days as Hawaiians) took a sharp stick (known these days as a spear) and did do him a nasty mischief or ten, causing him to give up eating and drinking (known these days as being dead).

1788 Norfolk Island was reserved for the Lt Gidley King party, who sailed off on this day on the ship Supply, to found a settlement between ordering the entrees and desserts.

1792 Free enterprise and capitalism began rearing its head when the first store of the colony flung open its doors for business.

1807 Spoil-sport party-pooper Gov Bligh stamped his foot and imperiously declared the banning of the use of spirits to barter for food...clothing...rumpy-pumpy...and, the very odd case, of gaining a ball and chain (wife).

1885 The Victorian Govt, always good at sending other people's loved ones away to conflicts, offered to send boys troops off to bloody battle war in the Sudan.

1887 The switchboards were running hot into meltdown mode when the telephone line from Christchurch to Dunedin opened for the business of gossip chat.

1915 The first Maori soldiers were given an equal opportunity in that they were allowed to sail away to fight (and probably die) in a useless bloody battle known as WW1 when they left Wellington on SS Wairrirnoo.

1929 The railway line from Christchurch to Lyttelton was so excited it was electrified on this date.

1949 Showing the trend they intended to follow come Hell or high water the Victorian Govt proved its leadership skills by closing the meandering 6.80kms (4.2 miles in the calorie counter) the Alberton (you remember that pitiful station platform?) to Port Albert railway line....but there might be a rail trail to tramp along IF the Vic Govt has coughed up the necessary....but check with proper authorities.

1966 Everyone in The Land of Oz stopped spending a penny....and had to pay 2cents to pass through the hallowed doorway of the public thunderbox at Myers when the analogue old currency went digital decimal.

1984 Elton John was overcome by the rheumatism romance of the day and got himself hitched in lawful matrimony to a chicky-babe Renate Blauel in Sin City aka Sydney, Oz.
You, too, could be faced with demands for a ring.
Propose to Elton, you'll have a far better time.

2003 Having a hankering for some juicy roast lamb (with mint sauce, baked spuds and pumpkin) Dolly the Cloned Sheep was pushed off the perch when she was euthanised due to cancer.

2008 Legendary country singer/songwriter Smoky Dawson rode off into the sunset, as all country singers have wont to do, aged 94.

8 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

I'm an old romantic. Valentine's Day should be all about chocolates and breakfast in bed and lots of gifts etc. Obviously Michelle disagrees, because she never does any of that for me.

Jayne said...

Awww, how sad, Brian.

Anja said...

Anyone got a spare goat?

Mistress B said...

that was some mischief done to ol' Jimmy boy

Jayne said...

I don't think Brian's busy at the moment, Anja....

Just a wee bit...or 3, B ;)

a said...

Sacrficing animals in caves is the best indication of love....the couple who sacrifice together, stay together i always say....

anonymum said...

Ok...that last comment was mine..I hit submit instead of shift...DUH Maureen!!!

Jayne said...

LOL, Mo.

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