Monday, March 9, 2009

Over-heard in the house and thunderbox...

The Spouse to Feral Beast,
"I challenge you to see which of us can not speak the longest,"
Oh, I can see a huge WIN for me happening here!

The Spouse, mishearing me when I said I was moving my blog roll,
"Hey, hon, where did you want me to drill the new hole for the toilet roll holder?"
Oooo! The reno I wanted when I didn't know I was having a reno!

Feral Beast (in thunderous voice),
"I have FOUND religion. You can all now go to Hell!"
Err...only if they have hot cross buns. 

Told a friend I'd been accused of causing an argument when I simply asked (for the umpteenth time) for the return of my own property, she reminded me of the saying;
"Don't quarrel with a pig.
It only makes you dirty...and the pig likes it,"
So next time you see Miss Piggy....don't get the pig excited and stay clean!

When a friend's daughter was mucking around with her boyfriend (who has a dragon for a mother) and she called him a bastard, her mother (my unmarried friend) replied,
"T, don't call him that!
He's not a bastard. You're a bastard.
He's just a proper son-of-a-bitch!"
If the shoe fits... 


Question of the week goes to Feral Beast asking out the blue over chicken dinner whilst I had a mouthful of food,
"Mum, what's a rectal thermometre?"
Yes, that is a choking sound you can hear...


9 comments:

Mistress B said...

I dunno about hot cross buns, but I'm betting hell is just choc full of rectal thermometers.......... lmao

Anja said...

After being told to go to hell by the Feral Beast who has just found religion, one could say,

"Bend over and I will show you what a rectal thermometer is"

angel gurl said...

too funny. Makes the conversations I hear dead boring lol

rhubarbwhine said...

*snort*. Thanks for the giggle ;)

Jayne said...

LOL, B, they'd all have their backs to the walls :P

PMSL, Anja, I was rather tempted.

Fear not, Janine, I edited all the other boring/filthy/bizarre convos out ;)

Jayne said...

Oops, didn't see you there, Rhubarb, sorry.
And you're welcome ;)

Brian Hughes said...

"Mum, what's a rectal thermometre?"

Its what vicars use to gauge the temperature of their congregations.

Jayne said...

Isn't it usually somewhere between "cold" and "frozen to the bone" in those draughty pews?

jeanie said...

Sorta makes you wonder about the context of a few of those!!

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