Monday, April 13, 2009

Nellie the elephant packed her trunk and headed back....to her grrls, came out of the closet and lived happily ever after.

Yes, reading the round up of GLBT news - I've had some serious chocolate noshing on my plate recently - I was impressed with a Polish elephant who had the gonads to come out of the $11million closet....then again it may have been natural for him so some right-wing rednecks better scurry on over there to "educate" the heffalump on how he's supposed to behave.
Ignore Mother Nature, what would she know, she's only a female!
Perhaps slappin' an XXXX Large condom (ribbing an optional extra) on the boy might inspire him to explore the great grey gals?
Highly unlikely but how abouts we send Pelly and his mate Benny over to "counsel" Ninio....with a bit of luck the poor pachyderm will fall asleep before they can abuse his ears beyond 5 mins.
Because, of course, condoms are just increasing the AIDS epidemic!!!
Silly us, why on earth didn't the whole world realise that little gem before now?
And that naughty "Virginia Woolf and that crowd in England"...well!
All those historians before that time must have been telling monstrous porky pies about the sexual games and antics above and below British stairs and throughout Oz, India, Europe, the USA, etc.
Because, apparently, everyone were good little bois boys and grrls girls, who merely held hands and looked coyly at each other over white picket fences before they married in the church at a respectable age and then pupped the obligatory 146 children to populate the local sweatshop/child labour cotton mill/ factory/farm country before turning up their toes at the great age of 40 and getting planted in the nearby boneyard.
Don't you just love history revisionists?!  *gag*

13 comments:

Anja said...

I'm first. Should I flash?

Our poor flamboyant pachyderm can't wear a ribbed rubber. Benny and his old pal George would send him to hell.

Benny knows this stuff, that's why he's the Pope... the supposedly celibate man who peers into our bedrooms at night.

Can we all say "CREEPY" kids?

Jayne said...

The Devil wears Prada, Anja ;)

ELIZABETH said...

So what's happen with the magpies. I can't find a site to check the scores. I'm having withdrawal.

Mistress B said...

Yes Anja should flash for first! lol

shouldn't they give the poor elephant time to get randy before they decide if he likes Andy or Sandy

Marita said...

Wonder why IVF* doesn't work on elephants.

*or whatever you call it with the turkey baster.

RVB said...

Didn't you know that about Condoms. The Vatican has a top-notch AIDS research facility deep underground whose funding and extravagance make MIT look like a the local service station in comparison.

frogpondsrock said...

Oh dear... *sighs* I forget that condoms are really made by the devil.

Timespanner said...

Quoting Marita: "Wonder why IVF* doesn't work on elephants.

*or whatever you call it with the turkey baster."

It does work, and is part of the reproduction policies in zoos. See this site. The councillor quoted is concerned about cost (one elephant, which will stay one elephant, costs a lot), and that the aim for many zoos keeping elephants these days is to have a herd, as solitary elephants, or those just with one companion, aren't as mentally healthy as those among a number of their own kind.

They better start looking at AI quickly, or do a swap ...

Jayne said...

I usually get the results from HERE, Elizabeth but it seems some serious Easter Egg nomming got in the way of posting the round 2 scores!

They're human males, B, They.Want.Answers.NOW!
Or, failing that, we could distract them with football shiny...;)

Oh, it does, Marita, but you'd want bonus payments to wield that turkey baster! lol

I thought it was just the Vatican's inhabitants habits of throwing on a casual condom each weekend to kick back and relax, Reuben :P

Would that be because the Devil is "a little horny", Kim? *snort* :P

But, Lisa?
Dubbya was in a herd of his own kind and he was still mentally unhealthy...:P

River said...

Like the article says, Ninio is only 10 years old, and everyone knows 10 year old boys prefer playing with their mates to hanging out with girls. Wait a few years I say, then see what he gets up to.

Timespanner said...

Jayne! How could you compare a noble creature like an elephant to Dubya???? *gasp* He was nuts to begin with, anyway ...

Brian Hughes said...

"It came out of Virginia Woolf and that crowd (in England in the early 20th century). It's a century-long movement that has happened."

Ironically, I've always found religious spokespeople to be one long movement in their own right.

Jayne said...

Exactly, River.
He could be a tad excited about playing marbles instead of making eye contact with girls *ewwww girl germs* :P

He was, Lisa, I just couldn't think of any other creature so obviously screamingly insane ;)

Usually via the sewer labelled their mouths, Brian ;)

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