Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Regurgitations from my brain

Hey, Timmeh Holding!
Timmeh! Water Minister person thingie whatsit.
Yeah, you.
I've solved all the water problems for you, poppet.
That's assuming you'll read beyond the first grammatical error I've thoughtfully stuck in this diatribe for you, Timmeh.
Anyways - Desal the sea water (using solar power) out at sea, pump it UP the North-South-who-thought-of-this-rubbish-idea-Pipeline so it discharges potable water into the Murray River, providing H2o for irrigators, farmers, local community services and the environment...and THEN, Timmeh, you can pipe the excess over to one of those almost-empty water storage facilities known as a 'dam'.
No need to thank me, that's what normal people do with their grey matter, Timmeh-poppet, they 'think'.
Swine 'flu....yep, it was only a matter of time before the pigs took their revenge for all that pork crackling, pork scratchings, pork chops, ham, bacon, apple sauce and the token apple-in-the-gob-slow spit-roast experience.
For those in Melbourne and those who can actually open their eyeballs to notice things around them - next time you're at Southern Cross Spencer Street Station read those pale blue signs on the white tiles as you amble your way up to the platform.
What do they say?
Why do you think there might be signs that state you should not expectorate your mucous onto the ground?
For those who slept through history class there was a 'Flu pandemic back in 1918-1920, commonly called the Spanish Influenza.
It managed to kill off more people around the world than the blood-thirsty war mongers had achieved in WW1.
Commonsense states that those dirty, filthy habits - like shoving your knuckles up into your nasal cavity and hoiking up chunky lung oysters - will only help to spread diseases like the Swine 'Flu.

I dream of the day when, once again, it's a chargeable offence to spit....ohhh, yes, indeedy I do. Visions of handcuffs and fire hoses and scrubbing public toilets with toothbrushes....these are a few of my favourite things....!


  1. Apparently it only affects swines, which is why the politicians are all worried sick.

  2. ROFL @ Brian

    I shall make a note not to spit anymore ;)

  3. I went to a rough high school and was horrified that the GIRLS used to walk along and spit.....disgusting!


  4. While glaring at car drivers when they are talking on mobile phones does not work, glaring at people when they spit in the street seems to have some effect.

  5. LOL @ Brian too.

    I cannot stand spitting it is disgusting ...please use a tissue in private.

  6. Yep, that's why they're running about squealing madly, Brian...well, more so than usual ;)

    Good girl, Marita lol.

    Oh, that's cringe-worthy, G, bet those girls are horrified at their behaviour now !

    You're restrained, Andrew, I do the disgusted sigh and tsk tsk loudly whilst making a point to move away from the filth ;)

    Exactly, Trish.

    Yes, it is, Rhubarb but some people just don't get it.

  7. Spitting absolutely disgusts me. Thinking about it makes me feel 'off", seeing someone spit almost makes me vomit. When i lived on the other side of the city, I lived opposite a family where the grandpa would come out to the gutter every morning for his lengthy cough hack spit session before lighting up his first cigarette of the day. ugh!
    Of course the germ spreading is not something these people think about, rarely now do people bother to cover their nose or mouth when coughing or sneezing and they certainly don't think to wash their hands after. This is why I keep anti-bacterial gel at my checkout and use it every hour.

  8. It's a revolting habit, River.

  9. Spitting! I still get flashbacks dating back to my childhood, where my father used to spit onto a handkerchief to clean my face. Mostly it happened just before we went into church. Boy! Did I curse him....under my breath!

    Take Care,

  10. EEK!
    I remember those days, Peter!
    They always found a grubby corner of our mouths that needed wiping lol.

  11. On the water thing...forget the desal plant, build the north/south pipeline from the QLD annual flood areas to the drier southern states,(SA) and a few dams to store the water in.

  12. Oh, now River...!
    You're being sensible and you know how that just confuses the poor politicians and makes them cry ;)

  13. Growing up in Brisbane at the time of the big TB screening campaign, I was also taught that spitting was one method of sharing tuberculosis expecially at places like bus stops. The infected sputum would be mixed with the dust and then effectively swirled up and disease spread when the next bus came by. I still have a tendancy to hold my breath at bus stops.

  14. "poor politicians". Now there's an oxymoron.

  15. Hi, JSK, and welcome :)
    And diseases haven't suddenly stopped spreading through sputum and wind!

    Technically they might be poor, River....depending on where their off-shore account is and whether they can remember their password ;)