Monday, June 22, 2009

An apple a day will increase global warming

 It's Typewriter Day, boys and girls.
What's that, you ask?
Well, once upon a time computers didn't exist and....
No, no there's no need to get hysterical, children, and please stop hugging the LCD monitors so tightly!
No, Jeremy, the printers won't suddenly disappear overnight.
Yes, Susie, there was a time before computers...no, please stop screaming...
Ok, ok, let's just call it Stuff-yourself-with-chocolate-Day, ok?

Right, punters, I've got a bagful of Granny Smith apples and I'm not afraid to eat 'em.
This means I shall be shortly contributing to Global Warming with some ripper farts so pack a gas mask along with your lunch tomorrow.
Oh, hellooooooo, 'shortly' was sooner than I thought....
1772 Slavery was abolished in England.
Just don't tell The Spouse, ok?

This means Dutch ovening will be on the menu for The Spouse tonight as thanks for his impersonation of a chainsaw Every.Damn.Night.
Yes, the real reason why God forbade Eve to dine on the Granny Smith in the Garden of Eden was because the Dutch Ovening was gonna be nasty due to the years of payback Eve owed Adam.
Plus God had run out of air freshener and was pulling that cat's bum face again.
The same one he pulled when Paris Hilton raised her head from the trough.
First apple down to the core...let's pace ourselves with a couple of mandarins, now, folks.
1973 The International Court of Justice condemned the French nuclear tests in the Pacific which had been opposed by NZ since the 1960's.
More information HERE.
I was going to waffle on about Top Gear Australia and how they took two "smart cars" out into the Aussie outback and were never seen again *cue horror music* drove down the Oodnadatta Track to deliver the mail.
To overseas readers that obviously means nothing unless you've braved the dirt road in the middle of nowhere that is so corrugated it could be classed as having never-ending multiple speed humps.
Did you know that the Track was once a train line, with real, gorgeous lusty busty steam trains thundering along it?
Getting comfy with the second apple now... 

 1980 The first IVF baby in Oz was born to Linda Reed in Melbourne.


Was called The (old) Ghan after the Afghan camel drivers who danced about the deserts of Oz with the greatest of ease.  The (new) Ghan is in operation now and gallops across the desert plains with gusto and a full load of passengers who've hocked their grandma's gold teeth for the privilege of seeing the sunrise turn the rocks and scrub into all shades of the palette.
An oh-so-slight journey of 2979 kms.

1991 Sonic the Hedgehog arrived on the scene.

I suspect The Spouse has dipped into my secret stash of apples and has consumed at least one.
I heard flatulance from him and I fear he has rumbled my plan.
Rats.
Am starting on 3rd apple and feeling slightly cider-ish.

6 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

"To overseas readers that obviously means nothing unless you've braved the dirt road in the middle of nowhere..."

No, Matron, no...

Actually, that sounds a bit like the Lancashire end of the M6, the only stretch of the motorway in Britain that's actually still cobbled.

ELIZABETH said...

The second hand shops in our area will no longer take typewriters. No market for the poor things
anymore.

rhubarbwhine said...

I still have a typewriter, a very old one, which works. My son loves to use it. We also have several in our classroom which we get out often. It great for the children to use, no word correct, grammar correct or spelling correct. What you see is what you get :)

Jayne said...

That the one with the curious cow, Brian?

One charity shop was trying to sell a 1970's plastic model as an antique once, Elizabeth LOL.

That would make 'em think twice, Rhubarb! lol

River said...

Apples make you fart? Huh.
I much prefer stuff-yourself-with-chocolate-day to typewriter day.
Slavery was abolished in England. But it's alive and well in Australia. (In case the spouse is reading this)

Marita said...

:: eek ::

More than one granny smith apple has me doing my reverse Mt Vesuvius impression. Thank the gods for modern plumbing.

ShareThis