Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I'm off to see a man about a dog....

First day of the new financial year and every man and his dog went to town on this date in history.
There was this, that, and the next thing happening blah blah blah *snore* so the MFE (Middle Finger Edit) has been applied yet again.

1794 Gov Hunter gave permission for convicts to be made into servants for landowners.
No one asked the convicts what they thought of this.
I'm sure a few preferred lugging their ball and chain about to washing dishes.
1813 They introduced the Holey Dollar (worth 5 shillings) and the Dump (worth 1 shilling and threepence but no loo paper required).
1851 Port Phillip Colony changed genders as well as names when it became Victoria.
1867 The GPO in Elizabeth Street in Melbourne was officially swanked up and opened.
1908 Federal Labour lost its ability to spell by adopting the title Australian Labor Party.
1909 Old age pensions were created as the elderly dying of starvation cluttered up the streets in a frightful fashion.
1909 The Commonwealth Quarantine  Service began. Achoo, horse flu?
1910 Sydney Sun, the first Oz fish wrapper with *gasp* front page news began.
1913 The Melbourne Hospital's new building was opened.
1932 The ABC was pupped.
1941 Payroll tax was introduced by the Commonwealth Govt. Bastards.
1942 Uniform income tax was introduced by the Commonwealth Govt, with State income tax abolished. Double bastards.
1946 Hawkesbury River railway bridge was opened. Yippee.
1962 Dunedin in NZ got it's own TV service. Lucky ducks.
1967 The Oz postcode system was created to confuse every man, woman and postie.
1977 Today saw the first National Gay Pride Week in NZ.
1978 The Top End aka Northern Territory became self-governing.
1978 300 people met to vote to hold a day-time protest against the Mardi Gras arrests.
1987 The Maori Language Act made Maori an official language.
1988 Bastion Point in Auckland was returned to Ngati Whatau ownership.
1990 Bicycle helmets became compulsory in Victoria.
1995 Telecom became *gag* Telstra. A rose by any other name would still be a piece of crap, Sol-baby.
2000 GST we were "never, ever" going to have (remember that promise, Johnny?) became reality.
2008 No Australian Democrat held a single seat to 'keep the bastards honest'  for the first time in 31 years.
2008 NZ's rail network was re-nationalised as KiwiRail.

*NB - I only included the Australian Democrats membership to show that their slogan is "Keep the bastards honest" as a certain reader has whined that they find the word offensive.
In Oz language and culture the word 'bastard' has a plethora of meanings and I would suggest overseas readers Google the usage of it in everyday speech in Oz to understand the variety of it.

7 comments:

Colin Campbell said...

Those of the naughty word shock are just a little too precious. Get over it. We do need to keep those bastards honest.

Timespanner said...

I'm literally a bastard by birth. I dare anyone to tell me I can't call myself that. I do find that the word shocks Canadians and Americans the worst, dunno exactly why. To me, it's a fine old historic term. We need more of 'em (historic terms, that is, not necessarily the bastards.) ;-)

Amanda said...

Bastard is a bloody useful word if your ask me.
Precious Petal may very well need to read up on common words used in Oz ... which don't include gems such as "asshole" (there should be a bloody R in there somewhere for starters).

Jayne said...

Abso-bloody-lutely, Colin!

Lisa, I dunno why, either. Maybe we drag those old terms out kicking and screaming int the 21st century.

LOL Oh yes, Amanda, that's another pet peeve, definitely arsehole for sure!

JahTeh said...

I'd be lost for words without a bastard somewhere along the line.

A word I find offensive which Americans use a lot is "motherf....r" and it's too much of a mouthful to use as an adjective, noun, verb etc.

River said...

Hmmm, wasn't that GST supposed to replace several sneaky taxes?

I find motherf****r offensive too.
Although if mothers didn't get f***ed all of those people who use the term wouldn't be here....

Jayne said...

It's a bastard to find an alternative word with as much descriptive powers, JahTeh lol ;)

Supposed to, yes, River, in theory.
In practice that's another story.

LOL @ mofo ;)

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