Tuesday, September 29, 2009

30th September with nary a drop to be found...

Water-envy.
Don't laugh, you know you secretly suffer from this condition, counting the millilitres flowing into our dams, measuring out your daily allowance, peeing on the lemon tree after dark.
If only we were more honest about it no one would need to hide their water-envy, and in today's post I will show how this has cropped up throughout history...

1817 John Macarthur was not the Merino Messiah he was just a Very Naughty Baa Boy who had been unofficially exiled in The Old Dart for 8 yrs; he schlepped his sorry arse back to old Sydney Town on this date on the condition that he kept his nose out of public affairs but he quickly developed water-envy.

1836 Explorer Thomas Mitchell spotting a mountain and did what every bloke under the sun has done when faced with anything larger than a pimple - he climbed it.
When he reached the summit of Mount Macedon (for that was the slumbering hill's name, wasn't it lucky Mitchell picked the right one?) Tommy spied Port Phillip Bay and contracted water-envy.

1953 The smarty-pants scientists at McGill Uni suffered from water-envy so they created radar (no, not the character from M*A*S*H).

1962 NZ was blessed with the first Ombudsman, Sir Guy Powles.
He didn't have water-envy, although there were rumours...

1981 The Commonwealth Heads of Govt Meeting took place in Melbourne aka CHOGM to discuss this little-known syndrome 'water-envy',  thus the first CCTV cameras were planted way up high (weigh a pie) over-seeing all.

1982 Christchurch Gas Works was closed.
Reason?
Water-envy.

1983 Christchurch Council closed Victoria Square to traffic.
Yep.
Radiators filled to bursting with water-envy.

1984 Uber-high water levels in the Caniapiscau River proved unpopular with approx. 10,000 Caribou who forgot their floaties and how to doggie-paddle...
Aww, bet they didn't have water-envy.

1986 Lake Ontario's outflow reached the high mark of 844 billion litres per day.
Yep, SEETHING water envy happening here now!

3 comments:

JahTeh said...

Water envy, not so much but Bombay Sapphire, I envy people who can afford expensive gin.

River said...

I have serious water envy. If it weren't for all my family being in and around Oddelaide, I'd seriously consider moving somewhere much wetter.

jeanie said...

I get green when I hear of other people's rain.

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