Monday, December 7, 2009

If this describes you........ apologies, just grow the feck up.

Next time you're out and about and you happen to eyeball a kid chuckin' a tanty of monumental proportions STOP! and hold off on that snap judgment for a few seconds and consider that this might not be a 'spoilt brat' havin' a hissy over mummsie and daddsie saying the big bad word 'no' to a toy/lollie/world domination.
That this might in fact be a differently wired kid who is having trouble coping with noise, crowds, overwhelming stench of perfumes, hair products and deodorants people seem to drown themselves in, it might be the humming from the fluro lights not the light itself, it could be the ever-present colour black everyone in Melbourne seems genetically coded to wear, it could even be YOU and the way you hold your head.
A close rellie has had the usual "oh, what a spoiled brat" comments thrown so often at them when out and about they are considering getting t-shirts printed with "I have autism, what's your excuse?"

And, really, what is your excuse for making that snap judgment in your mind and tut-tutting loud enough for parents to hear?
A poor sense of self-respect (and a healthy dose of self-loathing) reflected in your need to elevate yourself, in your poor estimation, above a fellow human being who is having a harder time of coping with day-to-day living than you could ever imagine and the parents who never have a moments peace and can never afford to relax.
Yeah,  looking beyond the surface might be difficult for shallow people like yourself, you might drown in the facts.
Merry Xmess and now start channelling some of that compassion and tolerance everyone seems to sing about at this time of year.


  1. Hi Jayne. hey, much as I hate to promote the 'Big T', their nextG network is pretty amazing.

    While I can't claim too many 'monumental tanties'; much prefer to just 'vanish in a puff of pique'. In addition to the list of 'appalling sensory overloads' "civilisation" has inflicted on us - my pet peeves are wall to wall brick veneers, and fake Tuscan villas built out of thinly rendered plasterboard. All of which are manifestly unsuited to the Aussie climate and require vast amounts of CO2 belching electricity generation to become halfway habitable.

  2. My usual inner reaction these days is: the poor parents/caregivers. I might be becoming more tolerant as I slide toward decrepitude, but I also know that if I don't get enough sleep, my energy levels are dropping, and I'm hungry, then I'm not all that pleasant to be around either. At least I'm an adult and can say so, then take myself away to a corner 'till I come right again.

  3. Oh yes! The migraine inducing overwhelming stench of perfumes etc. For the love of god (aka, me) people, think of the service people! Those nameless faces who pack those tons of drinks and nibblies for you everyday at the checkout. All day, well all shift anyway, we're unable to get away for a breath of fresh clean air, we just stand there, breathing in numerous different odours and SMILING too.....
    At times I've said to a parent "had enough of the shops has he/she?" Sometimes the parent says "nah, he/she is just having a tantrum, but now and again I get a tires "thanks for understanding" smile.

  4. Been there done that too Jayne with my youngest one. Autism and noise and crowds aren't exactly wonderful combinations. She's better now but I've had the same cark myself. Good on you!

  5. I hate screaming kids but I can usually tell who's having the tantrum, who's unbelievably tired and needs to go home and sleep and kids who are overwhelmed by everything especially at Christmas.
    Remember this is coming from somebody who was breathing into a paper bag at the back of Lincraft's last week.
    River, aren't you glad that you don't get that cigarette smoke puffed all over you now?

  6. 'Service' ? Ah, trickey concept.

  7. Autism? Ah. Look up 'Fouts' on guggle.

    Long story.

  8. Ooops, perhaps spread that reference a bit wide - try

  9. Or here

  10. I will, as always, argue the case -
    what is the definition of - "non human".

  11. Well said on all counts. Also, even so-called normal kids can do the tantrum thing. Been there, done that with toddlers throwing themselves down in the middle of shopping centres. (And having interfering old ducks try to jolly them along when you are trying NOT to give them the attention they're trying to manipulate.)

    Mind you,if your kid is going off, it's not really the time to be standing there browsing through a gift shop, or a book shop, or through magazines in a newsagents. I've seen, I mean HEARD that, and it's lost the shop potential custom from me having to get the hell out of there before it gives me a migraine. A dash and grab through the supermarket is understandable. Browsing just isn't. Take the kid home, take them away from the crowds, the lights, whatever, for goodness sakes.

  12. @JahTeh, still get the ciggie smoke, as well as the reek of clothes that have been worn forever without a wash while the owner smokes a couple of packs a day. Had one this morning, so strong You'd swear he wore th same clothes year round while smoking 24/7. Had to get out my puffer a bit later when I started coughing from it.

  13. My daughter didn't have autism - but she did have a very certain "switch" when enough was enough.

    I hate the judgement that is given without question often - who knows the reason...