Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Origins of the bizarre

 WARNING!!!!
This post isn't going to answer anything factual in the slightest.

Armadale  = name derived from the many monied dolts who flocked to the area in the 1500s, believing that spending a motza on a wattle, daub and sheep shit hut on the Main St was a status symbol. Surrounding folk came to call them dills but the residents thought this a compliment and, over time, the name became Armadale from the original 'I'm a Dill'.

Tasmanian Tiger = has never actually gone away nor have the population numbers decreased at all; the media campaign to build a myth from their 'disappearance' has effectively blocked the ability to see them hiding in plain sight.
That pet cat? A Tassie Tiger.
Next doors' yappy dog? A Tassie Tiger.
That chook you're collecting eggs from? A Tassie Tiger.
That T-Rex you're running from? A Tassie Tiger.

New Zealand to assimilate the West Island = New Zealand is moving closer to Oz at a rate of 2cm per year; they are readying the inhabitants for the take over by increasing the Kiwi Tv shows shown in the West Island, exporting more and more Kiwi actors to the Oz shores and remaining the world leader in many areas.
It's only in our best interests we start making Cheryl and Pascall's fush pie!

Antarctica = Does not really exist, it is a myth forged to keep the peasants away from the rich gold mines the Martians are mining south of Tassie to pay the many compensation claims to their probing victims.

 Dodo = Flightless bird that never actually survived for more than an eye blink in the evolutionary world but is reportedly deader than dead although no one would recognise the damn thing if it ever made a come back.

Yowies = Yes, they are possibilities down the chimney at Xmess time along with Hoop Snakes or so I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend.
Drop Bears and Bunyips are optional species, also, so leave out the stubby of beer...just in case.

14 comments:

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

Yowies exist ... I bite their heads off and eat all through to their chocolatey heart.

You are always good for a giggle Ms Jayne.

Jayne said...

PMSL Trish and thank you!

Nikki aka Widdle Shamrock said...

Are Tassie Tigers able to catch mice? If so, I want one.

Bettina said...

Lol Jayne!!

Timespanner said...

Yair, not bad for a West Islander. We just might keep you on, mate!;-)

Timespanner said...

Yair, not bad for a West Islander. We just might keep you on, mate!;-)

River said...

Fush do not belong in a pie. Fush belong in a greasy newspaper parcel nestle on top of a pile of hot salty chups.

rhubarbwhine said...

ROFL well you did warn me... ;)

Jayne said...

Absolutely, Nikki, and they come in all colours of the rainbow ;P

;) B :)


Ta, Lisa lol ;)

Hmmm, I can smell 'em already, River!

Yup, Rhubarb, complete nonsense today ;)

Andrew said...

I've never seen a hoop snake and I've spent good time in the bush. Are they more outback open land? But I am very aware of drop bears. I check for them all the time when walking under trees. The victim stats are horrendous. Not the way I wanna end.

Brian Hughes said...

AIM TRUST, where the grammatically illiterate go to die, apparently.

Jayne said...

I always wondered where those turds dropped off to, Brian.

Davo said...

Um, can't wait until the 'north of south island' bumps into the west island. might be able to drive the van across. Have more 'family' over there (though, on second thoughts, that might not be sch a gd thung).

Jayne said...

Drop Bears are scary critters, Andrew, wise to be cautious!

I've been proposing a bridge, Davo, quicker to drive across than swim with my broomstick at any rate ;)

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