Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy 2010 to every wee bodkin and welcome back January 1st

Here's wishing you all a happy and safe 2010!

1990 Canadian MPs got themselves a payrise and a $20,000 tax-free allowance.
No, stop!
It only encourages the buggers!

1990 The infamous 'scratchies ticket' and tramways dispute began with trams blocking city streets against the driver-only tram proposal.
Sadly, tram conductors have become an extinct species although there is always much agitation, amongst those with commonsense, to return them to their native habitat for the good of all commuters.


1998 Transsexual Jacqui Grant aka the "Tranny Granny" of Moana, West Coast, was made a Member of the NZ Order of Merit for her tireless work with children.


Yellow = New Zealand
Orange = Canada
Green = Australia
Red = usually British or other nationality
Anything in bold, italics and coloured blue is a link to another site with more info.

Anything outrageous is usually humour and/or sarcasm.   

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Meet the newest love of my life, John Gawler, architect, Dean and visionary

Yes, I've kicked The Spouse to the kerb.
No, c'mon, seriously.
Would I do that to the kerb...?

Do you ever come across a dead person whose mind/brain/thought process was uber-sexy and perfect and stuffs?
No?
Got not the foggiest of which I'm blathering?
John S. Gawler, leading architect, lecturer and vocal chap in the Royal Victorian Institute of Architects.
Also, very first Dean of Architecture at University of Melbourne.
Now this bloke was a good egg.
He proposed, amongst many forward-thinking ideas, that the facades of buildings being demolished should be salvaged and attached to newer buildings so as to not only retain the character, atmosphere and street scape of a passing era but to inspire and educate students and the public of the future while preserving the city's history.
Only a few facades were saved in this manner *sob*; the Colonial Bank entrance arch, which was slapped on the School of Physiology (then, later, on the entrance to the Uni of Melb carpark) and the facade of the Bank of NSW in Collins st was stuck on the front of the Commerce Buiding at Uni of Melb, with other sculptures and entrances.
These 'bits of old buildings' (as some would describe them) are now considered pieces of art, included in the sculpture trail on show at the University of Melb.
He published a book of memoirs titled A Roof Over My Head in 1963 which would be a fabulous read.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Books to make art, architect, history and culture lovers cry everywhere

Well, not cry, exactly.
More of hair tearing and gnashing of teeth in savage fury directed towards half-baked blinkered imbeciles in power who allowed (and continue to allow) these beautiful creations to be destroyed.

SAVE Britain's Heritage 1975-2005 by Marcus Binney is a treasure trove of beauty, of the transformation of dreams from paper into reality at a time before mankind was trundling about in motor cars, before the era of flight there were blokes higher than others had ever gone before to craft spires/towers/follys to see for miles.
One that made me almost cry was the destruction of 24 historic buildings - including medieval lanes, the last Roman City street, 2 churches with burial grounds and the Mappin & Webb building only to be replaced with this. While it does have some merit in its style that is completely negated when you consider the value that was destroyed to make way for it....somewhat akin to throwing out a roast meal in favour of a hamburger; satisfying for only a short moment, full of crud and made without any imagination or soul.
*That spire is reported to have ended up in a garden in USA.
BUT there are many other triumphs in the book, like the uber-drool-worthy Barlaston Hall in Staffordshire which SAVE bought for £1 and it is now abso-flipping-lutely GORGEOUSLY restored to its proper glory. Exterior shot and further details HERE

*Could not find any photos online of the restored interior, suggest buying/borrowing the book to see how much love and care has been poured into bringing this beauty back to life.

A City Lost and Found; Whelan the Wrecker's Melbourne by Robyn Annear is a look at the other side of the conservation coin from the view of the wreckers who demolished so many grand buildings in and around Melbourne and who not only kept records of the beautiful buildings they felled but who were indirectly responsible for the formation of the National Trust to conserve and save the remaining architectural treasures.
The savagery of the demolitions changed the whole skyline and character of Marvellous Melbourne from post-WW2 onwards until the gracious cast iron verandahs, sandstone edifaces, Art Nouveau curlicues and mansard roofs were but a memory amidst the ever-climbing skywards of steel, glass and concrete stuctures lacking any distinctive stamp of character upon their facade.

The sharpness of change is none more evident than in the books Melbourne; Past and Present by Sheridan Morris and Melbourne ; Then and Now by Heather Chapman.
Both of these books offer comparative photos of a city and her changing personality from that of a serene picturesque lady to a sharp-edged vixen with few gentle traits remaining.
One almost expects to see a vicious vinyl-clad mistress with a whip emerge as the leading lady of the Melbourne stage; something of a 15mins novelty but certainly not what you'd be proud of long-term.

The constant re-invention of the city, culture and style seems to disregard any historical significance in our architectural creations, totally trashing it all through demolition and ignoring any possibility of retaining facades or beauty in the rebuilding or renovation for future generations.
History, culture, art, innovation - these are all entwined in our buildings making them more than mere bricks and mortar.
Go find an old building to fall in love with today... it will probably be gone tomorrow.

 

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Take a building for example.....


Yes, the Feral Beastie turned into a horrid slavering monster teen overnight and his doting Daddykins baked him a chocolate fudge brownie cake.


Doesn't this gorgeous old girl look like an extra from a Lemony Snicket scene or perhaps was left over from Diagon Alley in Harry Potter?

This is her neighbour waving her dainty fingers from across the laneway that separates these two dowagers.


See? I'd be most happy to claim the very top of the cupola as my own as per Ruth Park's novel Callie's Castle .


It may sedately claim to be A City of Melbourne Building about her midriff but I suspect this dame may be footloose and fancy free from Bobby D and his ilk.
 

A few doors down Yule House proves the adage "Less is more" in her simplistic but perfect Art Deco adornment which transcends all periods and styles.


The unimaginative steel, glass and concrete piles may tower over St Paul's Cathedral but they will always be the gauche kids of the playground who have no idea of manners while the old classics will politely nod and smile retaining their style amidst the fads, fading architectural fashions and forgotten pollies.

December 27 and the turkey goes on....

The 12 Days of  Xmess and Xmess turkeys are somewhat like the Duracell Bunny; they go on and on and on and on...


On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
I'm glad we've bought a turkey and a proper Christmas tree.

On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird.

1675 King Charles II outlawed coffee houses.
12 days later this proclamation was withdrawn as it was not quite legal (and people were a tad upset).
Coffee houses attracted the intellectuals in herds who'd gather to gossip and poor old Charlie 2 had been warned of the seditious discussions that might possibly be on his subjects' lips...
Plus he didn't fit in with intellectuals did poor old Charlie 2.

1803 Daniel Boon William Buckley was a man, he was a biiiiig man...who happened to be a convict cos he was a very naughty boy but we'll overlook this fact as we romanticise him ....he buggered off from the Sullivan Bay settlement in Sorrento and lived with the Aboriginal People for 32 years.
Not even a postcard.

1926 Pioneer of bush flying in remote, difficult areas of Canadian wilderness HA "Doc" Oaks began flying supplies to the Bathurst Mines in Hudson. He also developed methods for heating and maintaining engines in savage winter conditions.

1987 Kiwi of The Week Rewi Alley , favourite in his adopted land of China, passed away on this day.
Read more about this beloved foreigner HERE.

Yellow = New Zealand
Orange = Canada
Green = Australia
Red = usually British or other nationality
Anything in bold, italics and coloured blue is a link to another site with more info.

Anything outrageous is usually humour and/or sarcasm. 

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Boxing Day and the turkey is still going and going and going and going

And now begins the Twelve Days of Christmas.
But we shall not carol about lords a'leaping or how many geese are plopping bum nuts out.
No, we shall instead dedicate the 12 days to the turkey everyone will be eating ad infinitum.

On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
I'm glad we've bought a turkey and a proper Christmas tree.


1852 The Marco Polo, the famously fast New Brunswick-built ship, rocked up in Liverpool back from Melbourne, Australia in a mere 140 days. As the trip usually took 240 days the captain was strongly suspected of being a leadfoot but he claimed t'was the brilliant Canuck craftsmanship of the boat that got him zipping about in what was declared the world's fastest ship.

1855 Having neglected to invent the Boxing Day Cricket Test match to while away their time post-waistcoat button popping Xmess dinner the chaps in the Public Works Dept got together for a wicked time and laid the foundation stones of the future Victorian State Parliament.
Thank goodness for cricket!

1866 Finding the laying of foundation stones merely yawn-worthy a team of Aboriginal cricketers was put together by Tom Wills (he who helped invent Aussie Rules Football) from all over the Western District of Victoria and played a match against the Melbourne Cricket Club at the MCG in front of 11,000 (some reports state 8,000) spectators.

1879 Over the ditch the Irish Catholics and Orangmen thought the Boxing Day theme could be taken to a whole new level by attacking one another in Timaru and Christchurch.

1905 The Automobile Association, in a possible effort to keep the men entertained with a lack of cricket, held the Great Automobile Gymkhana at the Addington trotting track with the very first official car race in NZ.
Which was more entertaining than the Sydney to Hobart boat race...

1937 Ronnie Prophet, singer and comedian, was pupped on this day.
Read more about this talented Canuck HERE.

Yellow = New Zealand
Orange = Canada
Green = Australia
Red = usually British or other nationality
Anything in bold, italics and coloured blue is a link to another site with more info.

Anything outrageous is usually humour and/or sarcasm. 

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Thank you all for your kind wishes

Thank you all to those who left messages, emailed me and contacted me off-line.
Dad is now home with completely new medications and under the care of a completely new doctor.

May your festive season be as blessed as ours has turned out to be.

Merry Xmess and a Happy 2010.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Some levity and Kiwi eye candy after the angsty rants...

Crikey Dick, some people take their religion, like their alter whine, just a tad too fiercely, eh?
Been reading about a fab church (with drool-worthy architecture, stained glass windows and stone masonary work to  covet) in NZ with a sense of humour - yes, yes, some churches and ministers have learnt that humour is not a tool of the Devil and can be effective in encouraging people to venture inside a church to see what it's all about.
First the measuring fish billboard was a hoot.
But the latest one got some hot and bothered both under the sheets and under the collar.
Pity it wasn't the sheets in question on the billboard and the 'dog collar' that authorised it certainly wasn't bovvered.

Read this tale HERE about a message from Santa in an over-due library book with social and historical connections.
Then encourage Lisa to pen a book on the tale; it would be a great way to document the whole thing and convey it to the next generation of history lovers, just as she's proven with her previously published book The Zoo War.

As we've just about lost all of our lovely old red public phone boxes *sniff* have a gander at the ones in NZ.
And, seriously, if NZ can have all these fab murals covering the dull, ugly grey traffic control boxes - exactly the same kind of traffic control boxes we have this side of the ditch - and Brisvegas has embraced the concept with beautiful results why oh why can't someone organise murals for our hideous ones instead of leaving them to be tagged?
I say sic a Kiwi on 'em - they might be flightless but those beaks are savage!

Friday, December 18, 2009

One little word to sum up the Catholic schools' action in Tassie....

Our Cute Spunky Ballsy Chicky-Babe Saint Mary of Oz

Oh, I can hear Pell, Benny, et el becoming incandescent with rage...so much so one could probably light a papal vote off them *snort*
Yes, our Mary may soon become our first home-grown saint, whom we'll proudly wheel out alongside the first home-grown tomatoes picked before Xmess.
It doesn't hurt that Mary was a feisty gal who gave the Vatican her proverbial finger a couple of times; the first occasion when some tool of a Bishop (oh, I'm so going to Hell, hey?) excommunicated her for *gasp* daring to beg after she'd taken a vow of poverty as the Church didn't like beggars.

Mary and Father Woods had started the Sisters of St Joseph in 1866 which was dedicated to the edumakatshun of poor kiddies; it grew like Topsy with gals everywhere taking up the fight of schooling children of the poor by following them (miners, farmers, itinerant workers, etc) into isolated and hard terrain.
Mary had a will of iron, probably forged from her Scottish-born parents when she herself was pupped in Fitzroy in poverty in 1842. When she refused to stop begging, cos she figured God would provide like it says somewhere or other in the bible, she got done for insubordination in 1871.
Oh, and cos her school kids sang excessively.
Yeah, really bad stuff.
Mary held her ground and the Bishop admitted he'd stuffed up, re-communicating Ballsy Mary six months later just 9 days before he fell off the twig.
In 1883 the cute gal was in strife again when she'd dared try to put across that the Church should be an equalitarian instead of hierarchical bother of Bishops.
Tsk tsk tsk. Goodness, didn't she know her place in this male dominated world?
Bishop Reynolds told her to get thee hence from his diocese in Adelaide so Mary upped sticks and established the headquarters of the Josephites in Sydney.
This good looking chicky-babe had been a governess, took the veil, rejected all worldy goods (unlike some of the men-folk in the church), saw that the education of all children, even those living in poverty, was a right not a privilege they needed to attain permission for and stood up for what she believed in.
Yeah, I'll be waving my pom poms on the sidelines when she gets the nod from Benny-boy in Rome, she's a girl I'd like to have known, chatted over a cuppa alter wine tea about fixing the screw ups of the world and the like, she's worth every bit of a sainthood.

Now, we just have to get Rome to re-instate 'rebel priest' Father Peter Kennedy, read the book detailing the battle with the stuck-in-the-Dark-Ages hierarchical brotherhood and celebrate the ballsy bloke who actually practices what the bible preaches.
Hmmm....not a lot's changed in over a hundred years....

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Idylwylde lost in the romantic wilds of suburban Balwyn

There was a country-born and bred chap, Oliver Gilpin, who owned a successful drapery business that soon became a chain of drapery shops (which was ahead of its time and set the standard for employing only women and girls as managers and shop assistants) and soon he was considered "comfortable" in the hip pocket.
Oliver had knocked up a lovely home called Nyora in Normanby Ave, Thornbury (which is now the Normanby House Reception Centre) with a factory, fernery, tennis court and established a private bowling green next to it which he then invited others in 1907 to form the Thornbury Bowls Club soon sold them the land and club, becoming the first president.
He then moved his family to the new house in Finch Street, Malvern called Kia Ora (click HERE to drool). Having a hankering for bowls Oliver helped create the short-lived Malvern Heights Bowls Club right beside his new house, the grounds containing lakes, ferneries, croquet and tennis courts,  ran from the corner of Finch and Central Park Rds to Belson Rd where he had an office from which he managed his chain of stores.
But he wasn't satisfied with this lovely home; he bought and built big...he built Idylwylde.
Yes, click through the pics, enjoy the gorgeous lavishness of it all and keep in mind all of this 20 acres still existed intact in 1978 in Balwyn (Melway ref 46 F6).
Now, having looked at the spacious home, try to picture how much bigger it would have been had Oliver lived to continue his plans of extending Idylwylde another 8 storeys high!
According to his biography Oliver had installed avaries, a private zoo of Aussie animals but sale ads of Idylwylde at the time state Oliver had not actually lived in it.
I quite like this bloke; he ran a successful business, was forward thinking enough to employ only chicky babes (at a time when it Wasn't The Done Thing), created a fleet of vans/trucks to deliver his goods promptly, was considered an honest and reputable business bloke and if he married three time with a couple of divorces in between, who are we to condemn a chap who still believed in romance?
And romance he must have believed in to have chosen the design of the three beautiful homes he owned. 

I likes yer style, Mr Gilpin.

*Edit -
Just found out Oliver Gilpin's granddaughter Muriel Perry authored a bio titled "Just a Pocket For The Money; The Story of Oliver Gilpin and His Stores".

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

THANK YOU to Ol Skool BMX and Street Shoppe

Long story short - Dad's wheelchair buggered up recently, we got lucky and found another near-new (much better) one.
The Spouse transferred the foot grips (the rubber grips the person pushing the chair puts their foot on to raise the seat or tilt the chair to negotiate kerbs) from the old one to the new one.
Yesterday some Chrissy-seasoned turd decided to steal them off the flipping chair (seriously, WTF?!).
Today the owner of a newly opened BMX bike shop nearby gave, for free, a pair of rubber hand grips to replace the stolen ones.
Ol Skool BMX and Street Shoppe, 79 Warrigal Road Oakleigh .
They rock!
Go buy stuff from them.
They really are fab people.

And to the turd who stole the grips in Oakleigh Centro - I'm still sending Rudolph around to steal your dirty mag collection...right after he shits down your chimney.
Have a nice Xmess!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Oakleigh Wants Tram to Beach! Tree Climbing Goat!

Yes, back in 1935 the average Joe Blow on the street was under the impression they could request extensions to public transport; silly people thought it might improve their suburbs or lives or some such.
But successive Govts soon cured them of these nonsensical ideas.


Insert any favoured pollie's name in here at whim....it's too good to let pass!

The shaft of light hit the rock in the Shrine of Remembrance for the first time, the calculations of which were performed by architect Kingsley Ussher, son of renown Federation-style architect Beverley Ussher.


*Sorry, removed the article images as now that Big Brother is going to play Super Nanny  and someone would probably take offence at something...like the font size...or the print quality...

Monday, December 14, 2009

December 14 round up

1843 The very first A & P Show was held in Auckland.
No, we will refrain from mentioning sheep, painted hooves and curlers in their fleece.
No, really, we will.
I've seen Black Sheep...I KNOW how vengeful those woolly backs can get!

1890 Oh, be still my beating heart; the Trades Hall opened in Geelong.

1907 In the first Plunket Sheild Cricket match played at Lancaster Park the Auckland Aces defeated the Canterbury Wizards.
*NB Wins were only counted from 1921 onwards so I have no idea what the final score actually was.

1961 Quebec's very first chicky-babe MNA was Claire Kirkland-Casgrain, sworn in on this day.

1974 On this day it was announced there would be a national bilingual education campaign for Aboriginal children.
Except for those in NT in 2010.
Cos the Indigenous kids might be cleverer than the twits in charge.

1990 The Canadian Wheatboard posted a $1 billion loss, and was selling the main ingredient of those infamous Drop Scones for between $40-$50 per tonne less than what it was paying the farmers what grew it.

Yellow = New Zealand
Orange = Canada
Green = Australia
Red = usually British or other nationality
Anything in bold, italics and coloured blue is a link to another site with more info.

Anything outrageous is usually humour and/or sarcasm.  

I have a very cunning plan....

Yes, I'm channelling Baldrick (apologies to Tony Robinson).
I have a Master Plan!!!! - so masterful it requires Capitals and many exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cars.
Bane of everyone's life.
Invented to travel faster than the then power of transport of the day, the horse, yet today's congestion on our roads has seen the car barely travelling at a trot never mind faster than a gallop.
Melbourne streets, broad ways one could co-ordinate several intermingling Scottish Highland Country Dance festivals in without anyone treading on toes during the Dashing White Sergeant, yet bumper to bumper traffic for hours on end.
Ban them.
Ban cars from the whole of Melbourne.
You've heard this before but here's the twist in the petrol pump hose; continue widening the ban at a rate of 10kms radius per year.
At the end of 10 years there will not be a car within 100kms of Melbourne.
Gosh, you've gone pale.
Transport? I hear you mutter through white lips...
Why, yes, indeed, PUBLIC transport, the likes of trains and trams.
For every 10kms cars receed from Melbourne, the govt is to create 50kms of new railway infrastructure which includes maintenance, re-opening of old lines and stations, re-manning stations, having public transport run 24/7 to cater for shift workers, tram conductors will carry stun guns so they can quiten down the unruly knobheads whilst handing out change and people will rejoice in the streets.
Slightly cracked and in desperate need of a strait jacket?
Possibly, but this nonsense of building never-ending roads to nowhere upon which no one can afford to travel with ever-growing tolls, cars which can barely drive from side of the city to the other within a day without being stuck in traffic jams caused by road works/break downs/accidents or some knob jockey ignoring the hook turn rules and holding up everyone Can.Not.Continue.
Simply snatching sorry "compulsorily acquiring"  heritage listed properties like Westerfield - check heritage listing HERE -and carving up the remnant bushland for the Sake of The Holy Motor Vehicle is Just.Plain.WRONG.
Bulldozing through established Flora and fauna reserves again for the Sake of the Car is WRONG.
More on the destruction, useless-as-tits-on-a-bull freeways and ugliness HERE.
Cheers, Brumby-Boy, this one's for you.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Archbishop Mannix and the many, many Queens.....!

Pottering amongst the fish wrapper headlines of yesteryear when I stumbled over a tiny nugget of gold - in 1920 Catholic Archbishop Daniel Mannix was passing out tiaras with gay abandon crowning queens the Queen of Oakleigh.
Sorry, got led astray by my smutty mind...or Susan Boyle's Wild Horses, I forget which but there was a lot of fog, girls in lederhosen and gimp masks....

1927 (weren't they an Aussie band back in the day...?) found Mannix still the Archbishop and still planting tiaras on precious princesses, this time promoting the Queen of Sport up to the Queen of Oakleigh.
Excitingly, the Nurses' Home at the Royal Eye and Ear Hospital was grandly opened, too.
Bet those nurses were damn thankful to have a roof over their heads at last.
But, fear not, I'm certain that Nurses' Home only lasted as long as Whelan the Wrecker's patience in waiting for an actual permit to destroy the beautiful buildings of the Eye and Ear hospital such was the rush to erect the hideous red brick monstrosity that sits there still *gag*.

In between all this merriment, in 1918, Hawthorn was really letting its hair down by holding a "Carry On" Carnival (Ooo, err)  which was opened by a Sir John Madden whom we hope is not currently spinning fit to drill for oil in his grave at the actions of his namesake as regards some heritage listed buildings.

Apart from the thrilling news that December of 1924 Preston Council was investing in an imported road roller, Caulfield kerb markets were no longer officially out-lawed and that Swan street drainage wasn't up to scratch Oakleigh was having - wait for it - late night shopping accompanied by torchlight processions, the Oakleigh Band playing merrily in the street under extra coloured and plain electric lights (generously provided by the council).
How about that road roller, hey!

But notably over all these glittering crowns was THE sparkly one which belonged to The Queen of The Flowers who happened to be Miss Phyllis Wilkinson; Phyl had apparently worked hard in her fund-raising to gain the uber-mega Skywalker game level of Queen of the Violet which, when coupled with her tally bonus scores votes gained her the title and crown of The Queen of The Flowers for 1935.
Onya Phyl!

Terrace houses are the filigree on the wedding cake of Aussie architecture

Have been perusing a blog on Australian Terrace Houses - fab photos, great eye for detail and the write ups are accurate - so I thought I'd pop in some pics of a terrace we passed on the Burnley Heritage walk a few months back.
The reason I'm including these is because we were told the verandahs had all been removed, all ornamentation was gone with the terraces looking a bit worse for wear when one person began restoring one house.
Suddenly, the whole lot were getting their bling back, wrought iron and verandahs even the overhead lining boards on the verandahs were restored.
So many terrace houses are torn down once they've lost their individuality or facade that made them appeal to passersby that it was damn nice to hear/see a group that were saved with genuine love from the owners.



 


 

 



This one is tucked down a side street in Burnley, obviously awaiting the fairy godmother of terrace houses to wave her wand and pretty it up again.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Mental illness in Oz...twang that banjo, Billy-Bob!

Mental health - some people seem to think it was only discovered yesterday so, ergo, the myths are all true (let's toss scientific fact out of the mix).
Having an issue with a lecturer who thinks some learning disorders do not exist.
Apparently he knows better than the millions of scientists, doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists and the bloke down the street.
This is teaching our future leaders to disregard medical diagnosis' children will struggle with in the future.
FB is not a happy camper but it is in hand.

Did you know Oz was the leading country of alcohol-related deaths for umpteen years?
Cos the stingy Govt didn't want to sprinkle vitamins in the flour like 100s and 1000s.
Serious.
The nut houses ...sorry, state-owned and run Lunatic Asylums were filled to the brim with alcohol-related mentally unwell soaks, majority of them being unwell for the simple reason that they were not getting any vitamin B while guzzling grog, scoffing rubbish food and throwing pies down their gullets while on a bender.
Of course, other countries had taken heed of the scientific facts that adding vitamin B to flour ensured that not only the socio-economically challenged (that's poor people to you and I) got the relevant vitamins needed to keep their brains chugging over but those gargling grog on their way to the grave could replace what vitamins the alcohol was leeching from their bodies.
But did Oz listen?
Noooooooooooooooo.
Don't be silly!
Urban myths are much more colourful to buy into, let the media write up reports of those dreadful drunkards sipping metho and white spirits into death on park benches, let the Salvos put the fear of beer into the youngsters but don't ever let the scientists get their facts printed to the masses so that the govt might actually have to follow the commonsense of other countries.
Until the early 1960s we could stand up Proud! to have the leading cause of alcohol-related deaths in the whole world and then, suddenly, govt ministers were lining up to sprinkle the magic vitamin B into packets of flour, loaves of bread and kiddies teething rusks everywhere.

For a number of years in the 1990s Australia was again a world leader, this time in youth suicide; something they didn't often trumpet from the rooftops, but then it suddenly changed.
Single vehicle accidents were suddenly 'accidents', farming accidents with guns, tractors, etc, were 'accidents' and, thus, the statistics were re-written and Oz could slough off the mantle of youth suicide without ever addressing the causes that may have been mental illness, identification as gay/lesbian, bullying, etc.

And, so we find that little has changed in the intervening 40-odd years as regards attitudes towards scientific fact for medical conditions with ignorance, urban myth and loud redneck opinion ruling the way in which children will experience their schooling and formative years.
Good on ya, Oz.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Origins of the bizarre

 WARNING!!!!
This post isn't going to answer anything factual in the slightest.

Armadale  = name derived from the many monied dolts who flocked to the area in the 1500s, believing that spending a motza on a wattle, daub and sheep shit hut on the Main St was a status symbol. Surrounding folk came to call them dills but the residents thought this a compliment and, over time, the name became Armadale from the original 'I'm a Dill'.

Tasmanian Tiger = has never actually gone away nor have the population numbers decreased at all; the media campaign to build a myth from their 'disappearance' has effectively blocked the ability to see them hiding in plain sight.
That pet cat? A Tassie Tiger.
Next doors' yappy dog? A Tassie Tiger.
That chook you're collecting eggs from? A Tassie Tiger.
That T-Rex you're running from? A Tassie Tiger.

New Zealand to assimilate the West Island = New Zealand is moving closer to Oz at a rate of 2cm per year; they are readying the inhabitants for the take over by increasing the Kiwi Tv shows shown in the West Island, exporting more and more Kiwi actors to the Oz shores and remaining the world leader in many areas.
It's only in our best interests we start making Cheryl and Pascall's fush pie!

Antarctica = Does not really exist, it is a myth forged to keep the peasants away from the rich gold mines the Martians are mining south of Tassie to pay the many compensation claims to their probing victims.

 Dodo = Flightless bird that never actually survived for more than an eye blink in the evolutionary world but is reportedly deader than dead although no one would recognise the damn thing if it ever made a come back.

Yowies = Yes, they are possibilities down the chimney at Xmess time along with Hoop Snakes or so I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend.
Drop Bears and Bunyips are optional species, also, so leave out the stubby of beer...just in case.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Xmess Scum Bag alert

Had the doorbell ring this arvo, naturally the 2 fur-babies went nuts barking fit to savage any critter, opened the door to find....
No one there.
Front gate wide open and a bloke hot-footing it down the street.
Now, this is the 3rd time this fortnight we've had someone trying it on to see if someone is home (no car in the driveway and no sound from the tv gets to the front).
Off I wandered to warn the neighbours only to find one has had her mail stolen the past couple of days and found it opened and strewn in the nearest major road.
Apparently it is common for druggies to steal mail at this time of year looking for money.
And it's common for scumbags to doorknock to find potential targets to break in to steal brand new Xmess pressies to flog for drug money at the local pawn shop.
Lovely police gal I spoke to has asked that if anyone sees a person running away from their door after having rung the doorbell then please call 000 and the police can then check things/the person out and have it as a reference if there is any reported burglaries in the area.
Just remember - scumbags are rife, especially at Xmess.

Monday, December 7, 2009

If this describes you........

 ............no apologies, just grow the feck up.

Next time you're out and about and you happen to eyeball a kid chuckin' a tanty of monumental proportions STOP! and hold off on that snap judgment for a few seconds and consider that this might not be a 'spoilt brat' havin' a hissy over mummsie and daddsie saying the big bad word 'no' to a toy/lollie/world domination.
That this might in fact be a differently wired kid who is having trouble coping with noise, crowds, overwhelming stench of perfumes, hair products and deodorants people seem to drown themselves in, it might be the humming from the fluro lights not the light itself, it could be the ever-present colour black everyone in Melbourne seems genetically coded to wear, it could even be YOU and the way you hold your head.
A close rellie has had the usual "oh, what a spoiled brat" comments thrown so often at them when out and about they are considering getting t-shirts printed with "I have autism, what's your excuse?"

And, really, what is your excuse for making that snap judgment in your mind and tut-tutting loud enough for parents to hear?
A poor sense of self-respect (and a healthy dose of self-loathing) reflected in your need to elevate yourself, in your poor estimation, above a fellow human being who is having a harder time of coping with day-to-day living than you could ever imagine and the parents who never have a moments peace and can never afford to relax.
Yeah,  looking beyond the surface might be difficult for shallow people like yourself, you might drown in the facts.
Merry Xmess and now start channelling some of that compassion and tolerance everyone seems to sing about at this time of year.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Look what followed me home, Ma !

This gorgeous Yellow-tailed Black Cockatoo was one of a pair who I noticed in the neighbourhood earlier in the day; chattering away to each other the male was almost sprawled on the nature strip chewing away at a pine cone he'd gnawed off a nearby tree.
I whistled and talked to him as I approached and the cheeky chappy chattered back although, having failed fluent Parrot at school, I was unable to reply to what was probably a kind offer of a luke-warm mud puddle and a peck of pine cone. He allowed me to get within approx. 2 feet of him before he lazily took to wing and wafted up to the top of the nearest fence.
The description of 'slowly flapping wings' is exact; you almost think you're watching them in slow-motion, seemingly so laid back and laconic in their attitude.
Typical Aussie!
For some fab clearer photos and detailed info on this cheeky character click HERE.
Please note they've gone into 'rapid decline' of late; have a good look at another species we may lose in our living memory and make an informed choice when next buying timber.


 
 
 
 
Rainbow Santa; he's been touched up til he's tickled pink and he knows if you've been naughty or nice.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

The 4th of December and the plague-ridden one gave to me....

 ....ringworm and headlice and an email from a Nubian princess.
Yep, the gifts that keep on giving long after the silly season is over *snort*

Have been touching up Santa and his reindeers this past week until he is almost ready to come out and be unveiled.
Rainbow Santa will have the neighbours talking non-stop soon, so when looking at popping over to have a gander just follow the nattering nellies!

1902 Ontario brought in Prohibition and went dry.
I saw a photo of police smashing barrels of whisky and haven't got over the horror of it yet.

1905 Fans of actress Sarah Bernhardt rioted after her performance when a fabricated interview was published in which it alleged the famous actress had claimed that French-Canadians were "priest-ridden Iroquois".

1937 Dept stores in Canada began displaying the Dionne quintuplets dolls but Shirley Temple dolls were still the favourites for Xmess pressies that year.

1958 Oh how proud Lenin would have been if he could only have seen the day when Victorian Railways One Class suburban travel was born, doing away with 1st and 2nd class.

1966 To the strains of Matt Munro's Born Free Radio Hauraki burst onto the pirate radio scene in NZ.
More info HERE.

1978 Speaking of the Russian revolution... Boney M was in the top of the charts with Rasputin.
Boogy on down, baby, with the videon HERE.

2003 Aboriginal pop singer Jimmy Little was honoured with the Australia Council's Red Ochre Award.
Drift into his gorgeous dulcet tones in Down Below or on RocKwiz.

Kiwi of the week is Aussie-born NZ PM Michael Savage.

Aussie of the week is  Tassie-born Melbourne doctor Constance Stone.

On the third of December my computer gave to me....

...some updates and a message from a Nubian princess.
Oh, and another email from my troll in NSW who had been quiet recently.

Seems some people have forgotten the last line in my mini-mantra -
Anything outrageous is usually humour and/or sarcasm.
Apologies if anyone took offence at my Xmess hamper request, I'll remember next time that most of you seem to find politicians all warm and cuddly and cute *gag* and slip some into your Xmess stockings instead of the whisky, rum, choccies and fags.

1688 William Dampier sailed off into the sunset from King Sound after spending 9 weeks repairing his ship and observing the Indigenous People which he (infamously) noted were "The miserablest people in the world".
Um, no, Billy-boy, that would be the federal Liberal Party.

1854 The military and troopers attacked the Eureka Stockade which resulted in the deaths of 35-40 miners and 5 troopers. Peter Lalor, the leader, was seriously wounded that ended in him losing an arm, martial law was declared and 13 miners were charged with treason.
All in all a typical bun fight.

1863 The New Zealand Settlements Act, which contained land confiscation legislation, was passed in NZ.
Further details HERE.

1910 Fred Du Faur became the first chicky-babe grrl to climb Mt Cook.
More on Freda's life and adventures HERE.

1914 The Australian and New Zealand troops disembarked at Alexandria for training in Egypt where the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps ANZAC was formed.

1919 The Federal Canadian Govt announced that $25 million was available for tenants to buy their own homes.


1921 The Canadian Badminton Association was founded with the first championships held the following year in Montreal.

1960 Edmonton International Airport, largest airport in Canada, was officially opened on this day.

1972 The first jumbo jet landed at Christchurch airport.

1985 Old Quebec was classified as a United Nations World Heritage Site.


Yellow = New Zealand
Orange = Canada
Green = Australia
Red = usually British or other nationality
Anything in bold, italics and coloured blue is a link to another site with more info.

Anything outrageous is usually humour and/or sarcasm.  

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Scots/Brit Xmess hamper, please?

Was just reading through The Scotsman in my inbox...yes, I can read your mind, smutty, very smutty!...when I saw the offer for Scots and Brits to send Christmas (or Xmess if you prefer) hampers overseas.
*waves hand in the air*
Yes, please!
We'll have 2 serves of Mad Cow (our Deputy PM isn't quite at the tipping point yet, despite her red hair),
a quadruple serving of Swine Flu (the pollies all have their snouts in the trough but they haven't started snuffling and sniffing)
and can we have some of those crusty old crofters to pop over and crutch the most vocal pollies up the back paddock (rings or biting the testes off olde worlde style optional).

Please and thankyou.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Have your bibs at the ready...! Aussie Ice Cream & Fruit Tart


The above dish is due to Lisa from Timespanner asking about an old recipe called Aussie Ice Cream.

The Spouse decided he'd try it out to see what it tasted like; the recipe is dead easy to follow and make, no special ingredients you need to buy other than the usual suspects you'd probably have in your pantry (no artificial crap, chemicals, numbers, colours, blah blah blah).
BUT it's super yummy!
We'll be making this from now on, no more bought stuff for us!

The fruit tart is simple to make, too, especially if you're caught short for time and/or guests dropping by or an easy dish to bring to a BBQ/party.

1 sheet of puff pastry draped over a pie dish, do not trim.
Bake in oven til golden brown and puffy.
Toss in fruit of choice (tinned, fresh or whatever), sprinkle with a little brown sugar, bake for a few mins to warm through.
Cut into quarters, serve with home made Aussie Ice Cream. 
Beat off those who demand 2nds with a large stick.

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