Friday, January 22, 2010

Dropkick moronic halfwit imbecile neighbour behind the wheels of cars

5 dead in a horror smash, one of their mates caught well over the limit the following night, umpteen teens who seem to think they're 10 foot tall and bullet proof.
But it doesn't end there.
Ohhhh, nooo!
Dropkick moronic halfwit 30-something imbecile who lives down the road with his hard working parents and brother (when he's not holidaying his time away at Her Majesty's leisure every other year for the usual drug related burgs) likes to drive.
Up and down a residential street, full of houses with young children.
On the weekend he was roaring up the street when we all heard the BANG followed by the revving engine.
Out we crept, wondering what on earth we'd be faced with to discover an elderly neighbour venting his spleen at the driver, really giving him what for.
Dropkick moronic halfwit imbecile had smashed into a parked car with such force he'd shunted it 3 car lengths, crumpled the whole boot in and was just completely blase about the extensive front-end and engine damage to his Honda Prelude (radiator was busted, as was the steering linkage, transmission, etc).
When the old guy was done the car's owner asked him what the story was.
" foot slipped..."
"Your foot slipped?" he was asked incredulously.
"Um...yeah, my foot was sweaty and it, uh....slipped off the accelerator...." by this time the dropkick moronic halfwit imbecile realised it sounded pathetic even to him and he just trailed off with a shrug.
" ya want my details or something?"
"Yes!" snapped the owner, laughing at the idiots attempt to act straight, like he wasn't high.
And here we are on another Friday night, watching Skyhooks' 'Horror Movie' aka the 6.30 news while the braindead oxygen thief screams up the road yet again.


  1. Can't you dig a sixteen foot deep trench in the middle of your road and then, next time he goes for a joyride and ends up in it, quietly backfill it on top of him?

  2. Enough to make me scream!!!

  3. I'd dearly love to, Brian.

    Me too, Cazzie.

  4. I swear I'm going to invent a new ignition for all vehicles AND petrol bowsers.
    First you have to swipe your license (details of which are instantly checked for any traffic infringements).
    Then you have to blow into a breathalyser.
    Then you have to answer a series of questions on the road rules....
    Failing will mean the ignition doesn't start / no petrol can be put into the car.
    Leave it with me and I'm sure I will perfect it....

  5. Oh my God.

    How lucky that it was only a parked car and not a person....

  6. I think a bag of sugar in the petrol tank slows people down?



  7. Pity the dropkick himself wasn't part of the frontend damage. I like Brian's idea.

  8. Potato up the exhaust also works wonders ;)

    But besides that - not more tha 5km from where those kids were killed - I was stalked by a red P plater, initally he was doing 60 in a 70 zone in the RH lane, and then when he moved over to let me thru, he then pulled in behind me and was falshing his lights. 200m up the road, I had to turn right - he veered across 2 lanes to lturn left - MORON - and they wonder why they are dying on the roads :(
    I'm glad I don;t have your problem now, we used to live in the 'burbs and the same 'holiday' V fast cars was a constant battle for 10 years, now we live out on a dead end street and no hoons - thankfully

  9. You know, I was talking about this with a friend the other day. Each one of these hoons lives in a street that presumably is inhabited by some people who are not hoons. We know that the "kid down the street" is a hoon: we hear them coming home at night (often from several streets away). The friend I was talking with had spoken to several of his neighbours about the hoon in their street, and was struck by the way that neighbours shrugged the whole thing off "He's only a kid" or "He'll grow out of it".
    I see that there's a "Dob in a Hoon" mobile billboard on the freeway near us. Given that, as neighbours, we KNOW the driving these kids do, day after day, night after night, I wonder if we're allowed to dob in without an actual offence being inflicted on us?