Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Her and Bobby McGee and Jack

On entering Dirty Dick Whittington's All You Can Eat Seafood Buffet (Villains half price on Tuesdays) the group were shown to their banquet table by Janis Joplin.
Janis handed out the menus once everyone was seated, offering them the wine list which was shooed away because, as Hercule explained,
"One drop of fermented vine fruit and my little grey cells turn to pulp and the disco ball, it enchants moi." leaving Foyle somewhat startled and Mr Gorby nervously eyeing the lazily revolving mirror ball in the centre of the ceiling.
Alleyn drew out his mobile phone, annoucing that,
"As both Christchurch and Tasmania celebrated the first connections to this inferno invention on this day in 1936 and 1879 I may as well use it to call Jones as Barnaby appears to have forgotten his junior detective has disappeared with a former vampire killer."
Barnaby had the grace to flush before retorting with,
"At least I'm not so bad as to fine a Canadian cabbie for driving a lady on a Sunday like on this day in 1893,"
"I never realised you were that old, Tom," Foyle joined in with a smirk, "Next you'll tell us you witnessed Robert the Bruce gaining his crown at Scone in 1306 on this day!"
Before anyone could reply heated murmerings from Mr Gorby, Sherlock and the two ladies grew louder and demanded attention from the others.
"Pardon me, " Margaret began, "But...well, have any of you noticed the sullen chap sitting to our right?" she subtly motioned with a slight movement of her head.
Surreptiticiously 8 pairs of eyes slid across the 10 feet of empty space to the lone diner at the table to their right.
'Sullen' was a generous description as his pouting mouth and mean eyes in a face with vague rodent features beneath the thinning hair gave him the appearence of an unlovable rogue with no redeeming qualities.
Sherlock quietly imparted to his collegues,
"He is, I believe, Jack The Ripper."
Just then Bibby, the Fylde Library mascot, walked in with Uncle Tobermory Womble.
*cue dramatic music*

5 comments:

Brian Hughes said...

I think you'll find the Fylde Library (or Blackpool Central as it's actually known)'s mascot is called Carol.

Jayne said...

LOL
Bibby is on Facebook and is rather cute in a Womble-y way ;)

ELIZABETH said...

So where have you hidden Brother Cadfael ?

J9 said...

cue dramatic music.....Madame Charlotte stepped in front of them and paused before bursting into song.....

"Underground, overground, wombling free, The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we, Making good use of the things that we find,
Things that the everyday folks leave behind"

Jayne said...

He's under the YUm Yum tree contemplating the meaning of life, Elizabeth ;)

LOL J9

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