Saturday, March 27, 2010

The warped plans for the rail network by the future Queen Bitch of the Universe....

Please excuse the wobbly lines, I don't often play tic tac toe with Paint.
Looped lines!
Looped lines that mean people don't have to travel alllllll the way into the city to get 10 mins up the road.
Looped lines that encourage the use of public transport.
Looped lines that cut down on travelling time, increase train services and lessen vehicle congestion on roads.
Yes, yes, there are plenty of bus routes in place but not all of them are wheelchair accessible, the timetable they run to is vastly different to the ones printed at the bus stops or on the interwebs and they just add to pollution and congestion.
The thin black spider webby lines are my proposed linking lines.
Hell, let's go for broke and link every second train station and see if one of the red X's turns into a Red Back Spider.
Ok, digressing again...oh, look! Shiny...
The red X's are my proposed new stations. They will not have car parking facilities as they are probably smack bang in the middle of some housing estate or industrial complex so the commuters can just leave their stinky cars to rust in their driveway and hoof it to the station, (broomstick parking will be available in the nearest cupboard).
The thin wobbly purple line is my proposed light rail aka tram line. We could suspend it high above existing infrastructure and the thrill alone of rocking from side to side more than 100 ft in the air should be enough to get the school kids using public transport.
And too scared to forget their manners.
The green lines are obviously my proposed extension of existing rail lines or reinstating previously existing rail lines and the arrows only stop when we hit the Cape York.
In my second phase of ruling the universe I propose turning Every.Single.Freeway and highway into a train line.
With a possible express lane for trams only.
And allowing the use of horse-drawn vehicles en masse yet again.
Although I'd need to discuss these ideas with Margaret Rutherford, of course....


  1. Marvellous motherhood map. Motherhood is good. Why aren't these expansions happening? If we keep nagging, maybe some will happen.

  2. We live in hope, Andrew lol.

  3. Ah, that reminds me that I have a half-written post on a similar topic; thanks!