Thursday, August 5, 2010

August 5 on this day in history with graphic tales of bloodshed of the linen

We have a cat who impersonates fluffy floor covers.
He insists on sleeping in the bathroom.
We don't have an issue with that.
We do have an issue with the fact he stretches up on his tippy toes on his hind legs, stretches up his itty bitty claws on his front legs til he's full length and snicks his claws into the edge of a towel hanging on the towel rail and then drags it down onto the floor.
To sleep on.
Yes, we've tried giving him scrappy old towels... *imperious sniff, tail in the air* no thank you.
Loudly squeaking towel rail signals the draggage of good human towels each evening, like he's in touch with his big cat heritage and is bringing down an antelope on the Serengeti.
So, I had the idea of giving him the scrap piece of red sheepskin I found in my mothers stuff.
Hang it on the towel rail.
Sit in the kitchen and wait......
....til we hear the rail squeaking as he drags down his latest kill, appropriately coloured, so snuggle up on all night.
Human towels are no longer on the endangered species list.

1583 Sir Humphrey Gilbert proclaimed St John's in Newfoundland in the name of the Crown thereby creating the first British colony in North America.
Where Elizabeth has recently been sunning herself!
1914 Declaration of war between Britain and Germany reaches Oz with the German ship Pfalz attempting to do a runner through the Port Philip Heads when it was brought to a stop with the first allied shot fired in the war at 12 midday from Fort Nepean.
1940 Mayor of Montreal Camillien Houde was arrested by the RCMP for sedition owing to his anti-conscription views and was interred in a camp for the rest of WW2.
1988 Cartwright report condemns the treatment of those with cervical cancer in NZ.

The Nylex Clock is still busted.
Yellow = New Zealand
Orange  = Canada
Green = Australian
Red = UK or other nationality
Italics, bold and coloured blue are links to further info. 
Anything outrageous is usually sarcasm and/or humour

6 comments:

Donna. said...

LOL ... good thinking 99 ...

River said...

Sheepskin! Great idea. Will he accept it just dropped on the floor or does he have to do the whole drag it down off the rail thing?

River said...

"...brought to a stop with the first allied shot..."

One shot? ONE SHOT??
Wow, we're good!

Debby said...

I'm sorry. I did not have the stomach to read this completely through. Cats are sadistic killers. Those innocent towels...oh, the humaaaaaaaanity!!!!!!!!!

Fen said...

ha ha my cat used to do that, but hers was just for amusement, she never actually used them for bedding!

Jayne said...

Have posted a pic for your enjoyment, girls ;)

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