Sunday, April 24, 2011

Sleeping with dead bodies...not as disturbing as you might think...

This is where I'll probably horrify a small percentage of you into throes of disgust and send you into a flutter of emailling me with your concerns...or your used toilet paper.
Whichever you happen to have ready to hand at the time.

After Dad shot through the other night time seemed to go into one of those wormhole expansion weirdy timey-wimey thingos so by the time I rang the funeral directors it was late.
Really late.
So late, in fact, the Feral Aspie child declared that he was sleeping in his OWN bed...which happened to be in the same room as the husk Dad shed before embarking on his travels.

Picture it...it's after 1am...the funeral blokes rock up to find a bizarre looking chick in Wonder Woman flannel PJs who then directs them to a room with a bright, glaring light.
With two beds.
With a body in each.
The double take and look on their faces was a picture.
I resisted the urge to point out,
"That one is pink and breathing, it's the other you've come for,"

They clunked and clattered then managed to break the front gate backing the car/van/truck into the driveway - although Someone (not looking at anyone, Mother!) got their revenge by collapsing the wheelchair ramp under them as they tooted Dad down it for the final time *snort* - yet the feral offspring managed to sleep soundly through it all.
"Oh, have they been for Pa already?"
were his first words the next morning.

Gotta love an Aspie who can not only go to sleep in a room with a dead body but who can sleep through the whole body-snatching routine.

21 comments:

Glowless @ Where's My Glow said...

I won't be sending you either hate mail no used toilet paper, but I'll be sending my thoughts to you at this time.

I can't believe he slept through it all! What a champ.

Esse Devi said...

Oh dear, one of the most serious posts you've ever made and I'm still giggling about the awesome Wonder Woman Flanny Jammies.

Having seen our Jodie's comatose self at hospital this week, it makes more sense to me than it would have earlier. There is nothing scary or wrong about your beloved family members bodies, even when they aren't in there anymore, one way or another.
*hugs* It's just really, really sad.

Love the wheelchair ramp revenge - you know our loved ones never really leave us, they just wait until it's appropriate to make their statements. :-D

Windsmoke. said...

Wonder Woman flannel P.J's my bizarre mind went into overdrive and just about blew a fuse, scary indeed :-).

River said...

Sleeping with the dead eh?
Geez, some people will do anything for a blog post.
I don't believe you have wonderwoman pyjamas, I need to see a photo. (^_^)

peskypixies said...

He slept through it all.........
amazing!!!

JahTeh said...

Ilove that you said 'husk' because that's exactly what they look like and you just know the essence has gone somewhere and I'm not talking clouds and harps.

According to the New Agers, they like to come back for the funeral. Mr ex was giving the worst funeral service ever for his mother and there was a huge crash in the foyer and my sister said in Poltergeist voice "She's hereeee!". I got the giggles and so did she.

Wonder Woman jammies?

Esse Devi said...

Can I "like" and add my voice to River's request? ;-p
We wanna see the Jammies!

Davoh said...

Wonder Woman PJ's? Would expect nothing else ... heh.

(ps. was holding my mum's hand when she .. errm, expired. No 'heavenly choirs' or 'flights of angels' either. Bit disappointing, really; but not entirely unexpected, if you knew my mum).

Red Nomad OZ said...

How hilariously surreal!! (and I mean no disrespect).

I'd LOOOOOVE to read the funeral blokes log book entry after that little experience ...

And yes, WW PJ proof will be required!!

Andrew said...

I recently learnt that there is no rush to be rid of your dear departed. I recall that you have a statutory five days. Good that Aspie teen is not of the hysterical type. While I feel I have said it too many times already, death is a natural process. Many distance themselves. You did not. You have my respect.

Fen said...

wow, I wish I could sleep that deeply. I'm such a light sleeper :(

Mary Paddock said...

Ooh. I want a pair of Wonder Woman jammies.

And I'd like to read the funeral blokes' log book as well. I kind of wish you had said "That one is pink and breathing . .. " Their faces would have been a study.

Your son's matter-of-fact attitude is so typical of an Aspie. His Pa was gone and he could have his room back.

Jen at Semantically driven said...

Oddly? I'm not shocked. I'm sorry to hear about your dad but if you're sone was cool with sleeping in the same room, then why not?

R.H. said...

It's odd alright, but so is your mercy, it would shame most people.

Janine said...

okay you might be sending me a disturbing email cos I read this post and giggled....I didn't see anything wrong with Aspie being practical and heading to bed and then sleeping through the whole things.

But I must confess I wanna see ya ww pjs.....I want some!!

My thoughts will be with you and the family on Wednesday.

katepickle said...

Is it wrong of me to wish you'd got a photo of their faces??

I think this post speaks highly of how well you deal with the practical side of death which can only be a good thing for all involved.

Have been thinking of you at this tough time, but sounds like you are still managing to laugh at the funny things, and I reckon your Dad would be proud.

Nikki aka Widdle Shamrock said...

At least ya know when you are sleeping with the dead they won't make any noise to wake you !!!!

And I want to add to the votes for photos of you resembling Linda Carter.

Love ya chook.

I Know I'm A Dreamer But....... said...

my sister died from cancer quite a long time ago now, but prior to her death she, her daughter and myself had a day where she choose the music she wanted at the funeral etc We all have a warped sense of humour and by the end of the day were in gails of laughter, much to the horror of my brother in law. Her choice of music shall we say was not usual, she wanted to play the tweetie bird song and as she was being cremated she informed us that we had to make sure she was wearing a flamible nightie. Of course at the funeral my niece and myself had a hard time keeping a straight face because of this day. Everyone else was blubbering and we were trying not to laugh. My condolences to you for the loss of your father. There is humour in death and I know I would rather people at my funeral walk away with a smile than with a tear! :)

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Boo probably would have had the salsa music blaring too.

Gotta love em.

And you, you are fucking awesome.

Kate said...

Hi, I'm new to your blog and want to say how much I am enjoying your writing. It's so refreshing and even these last posts have been so full of good humour. Just loving it.

Much peace to you.

The Vintage Kitten said...

Im so sorry to read about your Father. I feel awful that I laughed at your post, but it was so amusing. I was imagining the scene with a smile on my face, but with the Wonder Woman PJ's image in my head too it was just too much and I laughed out loud.........

How wonderful you can be humorous through such an awful time. I am sending you lots of hugs, and condolenses to the rest of your family. Take Care X

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