Saturday, June 25, 2011

Do NOT be ashamed

So...apparently I'm supposed to do the whole 'shame' thing and hide the fact my son is in a mental health facility.
"Oh...woe is me...alas and alack...yada yada yada...hand to the forehead in a care-worn stance....blah blah blah"
Imagine the old silent movie drama queen.

Well, yeah, my boy is in a mental health facility.
Getting the help he needs.
And while I miss him like crazy and his dad feels guilty we both know there is nothing more we can do.
Except trapse clean clothes, umpteen books and toys in to keep him happy.

Cos there aint nothing to be ashamed about a child/teen in a mental health facility, no matter how many specialists a parent has seen/sought help from.
It's just more help.

Do NOT be ashamed.


Fi-Wonderfully Wired Mum said...

Absolutely NO shame.... You are great parents for giving him what he needs.
Hugs xx

Jo-anne "Blossy" said...

What wonderful parents you are for getting your son the help he needs.

Andrew said...

Hard decision, but there is only so much you can do. You both have to think of your own wellbeing as well as his.

The Elephant's Child said...

Something I don't understand. If your son was in a general hospital you and he would get heaps of sympathy and support. Why is a mental health facility different. Still an unwellness that needs treating. Aaaaargh. Neither you nor your boy have anything to be ashamed of and the sooner the community wakes up to this the better life will be for many, many people. Sorry you got me on one of my soap boxes.

Lord Sedgwick said...

Yer doin' better than most parents.

Not a glib comment. This is from a kid was was taken by the 50's version of CSV from seriously dysfunctional parents.

(And let me tell you from deeply personal experience, children's homes back then were NOT *safe* places for kids)

Eccentricess said...

No shame needed at all. My reaction to the news was the wish that the country had facilities like this, to help my cousin's daughter.
Hope he has a great time and comes home to you feeling much more stable and able to enjoy life.
And, yeah, you're going to miss him, but after you've caught up on some sleep, Do some things for yourself and hubby!

River said...

There is nothing shameful about getting help. For anybody in any situation.

peskypixies said...

no shame AT ALL! it is a wise person who knows when to ask for help.


Mad Bush Farm said...

Shameful??? Like heck it is sunshine.

That tells me your boy is loved by his Mum and his dad.

At least there is something available to help him here we don't have anything like that. I've walked the road where you've been - in my case it was my eldest trying to take her life at 17 year old. She ended up in Sydney for 12 months because there was nothing here in New Zealand. Years back the mental health system was virtually dismantled. We don't have the system they used to have - we have minimal help now.

Have a hug from the Mad Bush Crazy in Northland NZ all my love to ya.

Davoh said...

shame? where did that notion come from?

Kiwi Nomad 2008 said...

Like the others say, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Glad there is a place he can go to get the help he needs. Hope it helps and things improve.

Kate said...

I'm glad he's getting the help he needs. And I'm glad he has such a wise Mama.

No shame. The sooner everyone gets that the better.

Debby said...

No. No shame.

But, I'm betting that mama needs a big hug because she's having a rough time anyway.

So...hugs, Ro. Big, big, comforting hugs.

Timespanner said...

Take care of yourself, Jayne. Yes, sad to say, any kind of mental health issues or instability still has that leper's social stigma to it, even though today we try so awfully hard to be understanding and inclusive and sympathetic to absolutely everyone. You and your husband have made a good decision, you love your son and wish to get him the right help and treatment, and that just says a whole lot of positives to me about you and yours.

Windsmoke. said...

You shouldn't be ashamed no way, you've done the correct thing in getting the proper care for your son, well done :-).

Fen said...

Who says you have to be ashamed?
As long as you're taking care of him who cares what anyone else says.
Some of my clients put themselves in mental health facilities, I don't think any of them feel shame. Often they just go in for a rest.

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

I am glad he is getting help and you are not afraid to get treatment for him.
If he was in hospital for something else no one would bat an eyelid.
He is fortunate to have you both to support him through his crisis.
Sending you hugs too.

Janine said...

I don't understand that concept that someone i.e. you should feel ashamed. What a small minded attitude. It takes a lot more courage to come to that decision. This is good for the you and dh and for fb. Like others have highlighted why is this different from anyone else being admitted to hosp? Seems the people who have problems with this are the one with the issues.

Kath Lockett said...

Never ever be ashamed. There are many, many people who have either been there themselves or have helped or seen a loved one seek life-saving help and treatment there. I've been in both situations and would be sitting here writing this comment if it wasn't for the help I received. Lift your head up and be proud that you're doing the right thing and he'll be getting the help he needs.

BUSH BABE said...

He is sick. He is in hospital. THat's all that matter. Who the heck said you need to be ashamed?? Ridiculous...

BUSH BABE said...

He is sick. He is in hospital. THat's all that matter. Who the heck said you need to be ashamed?? Ridiculous...

Red Nomad OZ said...

We seek assistance and advice from specialists for ANYTHING that needs fixing - broken down car, burst appendix, maths tutoring, computer malfunction. It's just a natural progression from realising you haven't got the knowledge/skills/training to do it yourself.

And no one turns a hair.

So how is this any different?

Watershedd said...

Who the hell has been feeding that rot to you? Hope he's getting better, Jayne. Love from the GOFA and me. X