Sunday, October 2, 2011

Sad

Having a sad day.
It's daylight savings and I can hear, on repeat, Dad's voice in my head asking me to change his watch to the correct time.
I went and found his watch, wound it up and set it to the right time.
But I am still sad.

And, oddly enough, I'm suddenly missing my Mum like crazy, too, even though she's been gone 13 years.
I think, because Mum died so suddenly - 2 months from diagnosis to death - and I had to focus on being the strong one for Dad and the kids, that I haven't properly mourned my Mum.
Dad was dropping his bundle and hell-bent on joining her for awhile there and I had to play parent to my remaining parent until he got his head straight.
Which took a long time.

So, I'm missing the oldies and having a very teary day.

11 comments:

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

Wish I could reach through and give you a big hug. Some days grief hits us like a brick wall...or whatever the saying is. So sorry you have lost both your parents.
(hugs) sorry we ate almost all the chocolate.xo

The Elephant's Child said...

My heart goes out to you. We were at my father's funeral a month to the day after we got the diagnosis. And my mama proceeded to dive into the bottle, the cask, or anything else alcoholic around. Which meant she needed a lot of care. I don't think I ever got the time to mourn my father, and missing him (and indeed them) sneaks up and bites me (hard) from time to time. And my father died over twenty years ago.
I really hope that tomorrow is a better day for you.

Watershedd said...

Hugs, darlin. Just hugs.

FruitCake said...

Hi Jayne,
When I think of the people I've lost it makes me a little sad, but as time passes, there is a little less sadness and more of the smiles as this or that happens and people visit my memory bank, just as you heard your father ask you to reset his watch.
So please forgive me, for while I am sad for you, there is a little part of me that is glad for you at the same time.

Kiwi Nomad 2008 said...

I think the first death does leave us with a wound that we don't always deal with at the time. Maybe it will soon be time for you to mourn your mother. But you will know. (Hugs)

Andrew said...

Maybe I am heartless, but I don't really miss my father. Mind you, I saw him maybe twice a year in his last decade. I expect I will miss my mother more. If you were as good to your mother as you were to your father, then they were very fortunate parents indeed.

River said...

If I lived closer I could pass you the tissues and make a cup of tea.

I wasn't close to my parents at all, so I don't miss them. I think of them now and again, but that's it.
I'm glad you loved your parents enough to miss them now.

Jayne said...

Thank you all, I'm feeling better and more cheery, now.
It's just some days the little things, that don't usually do anything, hit a snag in the memory and the tears just won't stop.

Debby said...

Some days will be teary. That's a sign of a closeknit family. You know, I have scarcely cried for my mother. Thinking about that makes me sad about my scattered and divided family. So sad that I want to cry. Full circle. Full circle.

Fen said...

It's funny the things that trigger us off. Grieve away, it's a healthy thing to do x

Janine said...

Glad you have had a better day, but gosh I felt for you. It's interesting how some things can trigger off a reaction. Hugs my friend.

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