Thursday, August 8, 2013

August 8 Have you thought about funeral insurance?

Yep, been getting plenty of those telemarketer phone calls about changing my telco, electricity, gas and isp.
Waiting for someone to ring to offer to change the loo roll.

But the damn Window scam phone calls have started again.
Yesterday 3 calls in total.
And I like to have a little fun.
The first one, after the usual spiel  of "Your computer has downloaded a virus" I frantically exclaimed,
"OMG I'll have to burn the computer! I'll take it out the back yard and set fire to it immediately! Thank you for warning me!"

The second call I said,
"Oh, the Federal Police have my computer, it's ok, they'll remove the virus' when they find them."

The 3rd call was not even put off when I told him I was only watching koala porn.

Funeral insurance....
I often tell them I'm turfing my hubby into the hole I've got dug for him and he's doing me on the BBQ, or that we're all ready to BBQ ourselves out the back.

Unfortunately the Feral Teen has not fallen far from this proverbial tree and often tells callers (in a Jack Nicholson-like creepy voice),
"They're all dead, I buried them in the veggie patch. Wanna come see?"

1972 - Norman Wakefield let the cat out of the bag when he announced the discovery, the previous year, of 355 million year old muddy fossil footprints at Genoa, near Mallacoota Inlet.
But he only tattled after all the rocks containing the tracks were removed.

1970 - A TF Much Ballroom event was held with wildly gay abandon at the Cathedral Hall in Brunswick St, Fitzroy. Boasting a line up of more Aussie rockers than your average Royal wedding amongst the performers were Captain Matchbox Whoopee Band, Spectrum (whose founding member and bass player Bill Putt passed away on Tuesday), Gerry Humphries and The New Joy Boys, and many more.
Oh, to have been a fly on the wall...or in the haze-filled loos......!

1968 - When Jack Pizzey dropped off the twig the bridesmaid, Joh Bjelke Petersen was made cheer leader of the Country Party and Premier of Queensland with the honeymoon lasting almost two decades.

1972 - On this day an overnight sleeper train began tootling between Melbourne and Mildura; named The Vinelander it was a popular service until a certain dipstick in Parliament replaced it with buses in 1993.
I'm looking at you, Jeff!


Queensland Parliament.
Milesago Almanac.
VR History.


  1. Sadly the Labor government also shut down lines but I am happy for Kennett to take the blame.

  2. They all need to be dropped in the middle of nowhere beside a defunct railway line.
    And no buses.
    Or limos.

  3. I ask the Windows pests to put it in writing. They hang up on me. The one I liked best was when they told me that they were calling on behalf of Microsoft and the Australian Government.
    Love your responses to the funeral insurance ghouls.

  4. You can play with their minds for ages, EC, making them hang on the phone with all sorts of nonsense.
    Gotta grab a laugh when you can!

  5. Funeral plan? It's crossed my mind now and again. I think I'll just have the kids toss me over the fence into the nearest forensic studies body farm.