Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The episode in which Dad takes up nocturnal swimming

Dad has got the leans, as in leaning to the left.
He got the all-clear from the hosp that he hadn't had a stroke (yeah, cos they're soooooooo reliable) but his listing to starboard continues (Is starboard left? No matter, he's not likely to be shipping out as First Mate anytime soon).
We've taken to propping a pillow along his left side so he doesn't hang out of his chair and this generally works.
The other day the skinnier-than-a-supermodel Pater was leaning this way and that.
Hubby came in and propped him upright, only to waltz back through and find him leaning the other way.
"Pa! Sit up!" he said.
"I can't. I'm trying to fart." Dad replied.
Yes, that old email joke really is based on fact.
Which means those Maxine cartoons may possibly be real, too.
Scary much?!
And so, Diane Butler wonders why the humour of dementia hasn't been plumbed before.
Au contraire, dear Diane, I suggest you speak to any nurse.
Dad was up, wandering about the house at 4.45am, wet as a shag as his reluctant kidneys had decided to actually work (correctly called nocturnal enuresis but Matron isn't looking at this report).
First thing we knew about his nocturnal ambling was the fact he parked his posterior on top of (man-mountain sized) hubby who was sleeping on the couch.
Still snorting and giggling at that image.
All Dad can say is that the plumber who worked on this house (himself) must have done a dreadful job and if he had his way the mains would have been turned off after midnight before he was forced to swim out of bed.


  1. Really? REALLY - he said that? Too funny!

  2. Yep, Rhu, he did.
    At the hosp they described him as 'delusional' and 'eccentric' cos they didn't get his sense of humour *rolls eyes* lol.

  3. Omg, that's too funny!