Thursday, June 21, 2018

Subversive in Suburbia

I have been so very slack in checking in and reading others' blogs I feel I owe you an apology.
So let's talk about poo.
Not my poo, or your poo (although we can discuss your poo if you really feel you need to share) but my furbabies poo.
My life is boring.
It consists of rolling out of bed (and I do literally roll off my lonely and virtuous chaise lounge IF my back allows it) to do.....sweet Fanny Adams.
The first job of the day is to throw enough medication down my gullet to drown out the anxiety, chronic back pain et el, then do Pooper Scooper duty.
Or, as I call it, "Landmine Duty".
Collect the furbabies contributions to the environment.
Someone, somewhere must have told Treacle that it was a game of hide & seek, to which she promised,
"Challenge accepted."
She deposits her little treats in 3 blobs; 2 together and 1 apart so I have to carefully bend down (pyjama-ed arse in the air, such a vision of loveliness for the neighbours!) and scan in a radius for the lone poo, hoping like hell I'm not standing on it.
Pip, on the other hand, produces a lovely art installation all in one pile.
Leo aka Fluff Bum the cat is another matter.
He insists that the bathroom is his bedroom and Goddess forbid that any damn human has a shower when he wishes to do the dirty.
Cos he hates an audience.
Damn Diva.
I never thought I could describe a cat "angrily" pooping but yesterday, while I so thoughtlessly had a shower, he was nagging at me to hurry up (shades of Bill Steamshovel from Mr Squiggle for us oldies) before he began shooting poo pellets like bullets with a 100 mile Care Bear Stare of Doom on his face.
You think Grumpy Cat looks grumpy?
Nup, Leo could give Julie Bishop a run for her money AND make her cry.
And then, after all this jocularity, I park my arse on the couch in front of the idiot box and crochet for remote Indigenous communities.
There are only so much rubbish TV and crochet projects that can keep me from being besieged by ennui.
I need to get out of my own head and start giving back.
So, I have started a Sharing Table in my driveway, along the lines of the Food Is Free project.
Currently we are missing the actual table (small detail, hubby's working on one we saved from Hard Rubbish) but there are baskets filled with our home grown mandarins, tangelos and limes out the front with signs for peeps to help themselves, even supplied with those horrid single use shopping bags for them to put the fruit in.
I was going to include a Street Library but once the table is up I'll probably pop all my excess books in a box and tell 'em to help themselves.
Hubby had been hoping to start a community garden on the nature strip but Monash Council is a party pooper about that sort of thing.
Same with Street Libraries on nature strips.
So, subversive we get !
I'll grow the vegies in pots, plonk em on the Sharing Table and feed peeps.
Or their chooks.
Or rabbits.
Just to make sure that there are more contributions to the environment via the critters on this blue ball in space.


  1. The problem is with putting the food out, I have heard, is that some people take advantage and will take all the limes, or even everything. It is a shame that people have such an attitude and in your case I hope your kindness is rewarded by decent human behaviour.

  2. Echoing Andrew.
    I am sadly familiar with angry crapping cats. And in our case he throws his kitty litter all over the room to further express his displeasure.

  3. I hate people who throw the food in anger.m That is not a good attitude to express...


  4. "angrily pooping"

    Thanks. That phrase is going to stay with me a long time. Also, the lovely visual image it conjurs up!

    What is a chook?